Long Overdue Update

Right now, I”m sitting here at 5pm on a Saturday evening, cuddled up with a blanket and our little dog, drinking coffee with a Hallmark movie on in the background.  Rocky is sleeping up in the window and J is just waking from a snooze in the chair next to me after spending all afternoon reffing a basketball tournament.  What you don’t hear right now is the sound of 2 little girls giggling, fighting, whining, or chatting.

Mama took a much needed self care day and Grandma is keeping the girls so J and I can go to a Johnny Cash and June Carter tribute band tonight.  I love my girls something fierce, but I also live for these moments of silence to relax, reconnect and rejuvenate the energy it takes to care for two toddlers 2 and under.

I’ve been having a rough time the last couple of days.  The emotions around waiting for TPR to be filed for M and going through the adoption home study process is getting to me.  Nothing is a sure thing until the TPR happens and the adoption is finalized.  Thinking about life without M in our family and the damage it would do to her and Bella (not to mention J and I and the rest of our families) feels like a crushing weight on my chest and it gets worse with each passing day and week that we wait for things to get rolling.  We thought TPR was going to be filed before Thanksgiving with the hearings before Christmas and here we sit, still waiting.  She’ll be 16 months in a couple of weeks and she’s been with us since she was 2 days old.  It’s harder than you can imagine unless you’ve been here.  We have a home visit with M’s social worker on the 24th so hopefully we’ll get some answers then and we have our 2nd meeting with the adoption social worker on the 25th.

Updates on the girls:

Bella is doing great for the most part.  Her language is really starting to come fast.  Her favorite sentence is “I do it!”.  She repeats almost everything we say and although I still have trouble understanding what she wants sometimes and she still resorts to whining and tantrums more than I would like, we’re working on it.  I’m taking a 6 week class on Tuesday nights called Love and Logic and it’s all about using natural or logical consequences as often as we can but doing it with empathy instead of frustration or anger.  I still yell more than I’d like but it’s getting better and I feel like last week was a much better week than we’ve had in awhile as far as her listening a little better and me yelling a little less.  Yes, I do yell at my beautiful blessing and then I feel a shit ton of guilt for doing it so I’m excited about this new method.  She has her last gymnastics class of the session on Wednesday evening, but we’re signing her right up for the next session so there won’t be a break in weeks for her.  She  doesn’t always stay with the group but she loves doing the bars and her favorite part is jumping on the trampoline and going in the foam block pit at the end of class.  One of our friends bought the girls a balance beam that sits on the floor for Christmas so she practices on that.  She’s got her colors down pat and her favorite color is purple.  We’re working on shapes and counting things with her now.  She is still a climber and a complete spitfire.  Her lack of weight gain is a little concerning.  Dr. G wants to see her again in March to check her weight instead of waiting until she’s 3.  She’s not much of a eater and when she does, except or fruit, she rarely wants healthy things.  We can get her to eat string cheese and eggs once in awhile.  Dr. G suggested smoothies with greek yogurt but she doesn’t like them and I’ve tried them with the young living protein powder too and she’s still not a huge fan.  I’ve also tried pedicure and she wants nothing to do with those.  We’ll see what March brings.  Did I mention in a past post that Bella is in a big girl bed now?  I think I did but not sure.  It happened quite by accident and she was doing great but now she comes into our room pretty much every night and most times, we just pull her into bed with us.  Once in awhile if it’s really early in the night, I’ll try to put her back into her room.

M is doing great.  She’s a fantastic sleep and eater and when we went into urgent care for all of us one weekend, she was 4 oz heavier then Bells.  She says a few words, mama, dada, uh oh, no no, and baby are her big ones.  She’s a very speedy crawler, has stairs down pat, and will walk along furniture and behind toys meant to help with walking but she refuses to stand on her own for more than a second or two and absolutely refuses to try taking a step on her own.  She’s got this machine gun like laugh and she thinks it is hilarious to stand by herself so I feel like she knocks herself down with the vibration of her laugh.  She may not walk yet, but like Bella, she’s a climber.  I had to rearrange the furniture in the living room because she was using the couch to climb on the kitchen counter but then would try to slide off the counter on her belly to the floor like she does from chairs and she’s just not that tall, lol.

Both girls are obsessed with baby shark and will sing and do the actions to it.  Bella even does it in her sleep sometimes.  She’s starting to know the words to other songs too and watching her sing Skidamarinky doo is the cutest thing ever.

J is doing well too.  He has just over a month left of coaching to do and then he’s finally done until September.  I’m so thankful he doesn’t coach a spring sport.

I hope everyone is doing well, and I’m trying to squeeze in reading blog posts when I can because people are having babies and I didn’t even know they were pregnant which puts me a good 9 months behind on reading!

Lots of Love~Dawn

 

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Here we go again!

We’ve sent in the adoption packet for M! Rights still need to be terminated and we still need the home study done and approved so of course, it’s still completely nerve wracking.

Please send prayers and positive thoughts for everyone involved. As beautiful as adoption is, there is loss for 2 parties of the triangle.

Hope you are all well!

Lots of Love~Dawn

Project Weekend

J is in Colorado hunting. He left late Thursday night and will get back home on Wednesday. Knowing he was going to be gone, I purposely asked my Mom to take the girls for the weekend so I could get some much needed projects done around the house.

I have a room down in our basement that I want to set up as my office and it’s just been the catch all room. My goal was to get it all cleaned out and set up. I actually had several goals this weekend. I’ll bullet point them to make it easy.

  • Clean and completely organize and set up office.
  • Surprise J by having our neighbor come over and put in the carpet we’ve had sitting in the basement for 6 years come Black Friday. It’s for what is now A’s room. When he did the other 2 bedrooms like 5 years ago, our roommate was still here and in that room with big, heavy furniture so we decided to wait. I got tired of waiting. 😂
  • Get the twin bed frame we have painted and set up in A’s room so when she’s up in the middle of the night, I can stay in there with her if need be without sleeping in the floor.
  • Lower M’s crib Mattress
  • Spray paint a book shelf and some storage racks for the girls bedroom.
  • Clean our room and hang up pictures
  • Pull all the daycare toys into a different room I. Our basement and just put out one tote of toys and change it up every week so it’s easier for my younger group to do clean up each day.
  • Completely clean and organize living room and kitchen.
  • Sand down peeling paint on the door going out to the garage and spray paint it.
  • Clean our bathroom.

Out of those things, I went through all the paperwork that was in the soon to be office and got things moved around enough to actually walk in there. I got the toys pulled but still need to go down and pick out toys for the week. I got the bed frame painted but there were parts missing to completely put it together so my Mom is going to go to the store tomorrow and cut the wood to size for what I need and we’ll finish that up tomorrow. The new carpet is in! It looks so good! I may love the GB packers but I was tired of the Green Bay green carpet. I got M’s mattress lowered and their rooms set up with the newly spray painted storage. Last, but not least, I got the living room organized and cleaned and the kitchen partly organized and cleaned. I have carpet cleaners coming on Tuesday to do the area rugs in the living room and the carpet in the basement.

It feels good to have gotten so much done but now I need a weekend for everyone to be gone again so I can just relax on the couch with the dogs, lol.

Hope all is well with everyone and that you have a great weekend!

Lots of Love~Dawn

PS. Some after pics and one before of the kitchen.

Bella Boo is 2!

As usual, I’ve now gone months without writing or reading. Sorry guys…I just don’t know where my days go! Bella is go, go, go all the time and trying to clean or do laundry is about impossible when the girls are awake so I have to spend the time they’re sleeping doing everything instead of doing the relaxing I’d like to be doing.

So where are we at 2 yrs old? Her physicality is ridiculous. This girl can do things and has arm strength like I’ve never seen before in a toddler. One of my daycare families got her her 1st leotard. Their oldest daughter is a team gymnast so we’re going to to open gym with them one night so H can work with her.

Language is still lagging. She says a lot more words but unless you’re around her all the time, you probably wouldn’t know what she says half the time. Her attitude and sass often gets the point across though.

Words you can understand: cookie, candy, chip ( notice a pattern, lol), hi, bye, please, thank you (tanks), truck, Daddy, mommy, side (outside), Shark (for baby shark) and moo (foster baby…moo is part of her nickname). She is just starting to say love you and blows lots of kisses for bye bye.

Bella is a terrible eater when it comes to anything healthy( takes after her mama that way). Apple cinnamon fruit pouches are her favorite thing in the world right now so at least that’s halfway healthy. She still loves bottles and formula and often steals Moo’s so she’s going to be ticked when that goes away in 2 weeks, lol.

Bella is a mix of a little sugar and lots of sass. She’s determined, tenacious, stubborn and refuses to listen. Hopefully, these qualities will someday help her make her dreams come true. Right now, they just make mommy’s hair even more gray and lead to a lot of frustration for both of us.

All in all, I can’t wait to see what she learns over the next year! Hopefully, listening will be one of them. 😂😂😂

Why?!

Why can’t I get back in the habit of consistently writing on this thing and reading blogs?! I’m like 6 months behind and have no clue what any of my favorite bloggers are up to.  It’s not that I don’t want to know or don’t care.  I think about you Ladies all the time…I just can’t seem to stop and focus long enough to read or write.  This might have to do with my little toddler tornado.  A doesn’t stop moving until it’s time for a nap or bedtime. She is nearing 22 months (how?!) and thinks the world revolves around her (okay, except for M it pretty much does).

At 22 months she’s way ahead on motor skills according to Birth to 3 and lagging a little in language but not enough for intervention especially when you look at her corrected age.  But guys…this girl is so, so, so smart.  Like a little to smart for her own good.  She’s a little MacGyver.  She will pull (until I moved it to the basement) her rocking horse down the hall from her room to the kitchen so she can stand on it to get into things she’s not supposed to.  In the basement, she pulls her train over to the pool table to get on top of it.  And those are just a couple of examples.  The kid can figure out how to get into almost anything she’s not supposed to be in, lol.  She is a totally Daddy’s girl!  She loves anything with a motor that moves..the faster the better.   She loves to go in the truck with Daddy to go pick up new mowers and is happiest when she’s sitting on one, or in the boat or in the car (without being stuck in a car seat).  None of them are even running, but she just loves to be in them turning the steering wheels, lol.  She loves to dance…I’ve gotten some really go videos of her lately getting her groove on.  She loves M!  She still gets a little rough with her love sometimes but we’ve caught her more than once putting her arm around her, giving her kisses or just playing with her nicely.  Huge improvement there!  She has lots of tantrums but thats not surprising since she doesn’t have the language to communicate well yet and sometimes, it’s just because we won’t give in to whatever it is she wants.  She’s really good about taking us by the hand to show us what she’d like.  She thinks if she says please (peas), she should automatically get it.  🙂  She’s the best but I’ll admit she exhausts me on a daily basis.

M is fantastic.  She turned 9 months on Monday and that’s all I can really say about that.  She’s coming along on all her motor skills and I think crawling will be happening soon.

We also added another foster girl last Thursday.  E is 10 yrs old and actually has the same birthday as A.  We’re pretty sure this will be a relatively short placement which is good.  I always forget how ill equipped we are for older kids just because everything in this house is geared towards 5 and under so there’s not much to do here for them.

I’m only a few days out from being done with my 8 week recovery from the hysterectomy.  They took my uterus, ovaries and cervix so the bright side it that I have 3 less cancers to worry about.  Recovery went smoothly and I only got to truly recover for the first 5 days because then my Mom had to get back to working and Justin had work and mowing.  I’ve been lifting the girls since then and continued doing daycare for a couple more weeks before I was done for the summer.  There were some days that I hurt pretty badly, mostly because of A’s elbows and knees hitting the incisions.  I walked a 5k at convention 3 weeks post op.  Emotionally, I’m either doing fine with it or it hasn’t hit me yet…I’m not sure which.  J, on the other hand, is having a much harder time dealing with the emotions of our chances of getting pregnant being 100% gone.

Other than that, we’re just trying to enjoy the summer and the girls as much as possible.  We’ll possibly be doing a CT trip in August but have to wait to see if the court orders that M can come with us.  They did when we were going to go in June but plans changed to August so now we go back on Wednesday to see if the judge approves it again.

I hope all is well with you guys.  I miss you and knowing what’s happening in your lives.  If anyone feels like it, please send me an email updating me on what’s going on with you so far this year!  pdot95@gmail.com.

Lots of Love~

Dawn