She Jumped on the Bandwagon…

The 4 month sleep regression bandwagon, that is!  A teases us for about a month and a half with beautiful full night’s sleep and now she thinks 2:30am is a great time to be awake.

Last night she was up from about 2:15am until at least 4:30am.  Every time I’d get her back to sleep and finally start to doze off myself, she’d start fussing again.  Finally, at 3:30am, I pulled her into bed to cuddle with J because that often does the trick but not this time.  He finally got up sometime after 4am for a bottle.  Not sure what time she finally nestled in but when he got up at 7am and put her back in the rock and play, that was it.  She was up for the day and happy as a clam.

So, new strategy tonight.  She’s been moved to the pack and play and she’s in the magic sleep suit that we use for naps. I also put her in pampers in case there’s any truth to their commercial, lol.  

Wish us luck!!!

The Failings of a Foster Mom

Today, I am feeling like a failure as a Foster Mom.  At this moment, we are out of ideas on how to help T.  Each week that he has been with us has gotten progressively worse instead of better.  He is so very broken from the trauma he has been through and needs intensive therapy and possibly medication to even be able to handle being in a “normal” and stable family.  I am ashamed to say, that as hard as I try, he does get the best of me sometimes and my voice raises and then I feel extremely guilty.  It’s such a fine line of being empathetic to their trauma/situation and holding them accountable for their actions.

School is not going well.  He’s disruptive in every room he’s in, disrespectful and refuses to listen there or at home.  We’ve tried consequences and positivity when we seem him doing/saying good things.  Right now, the social worker is trying to get him in a day treatment center, but if there’s no place for him, I fear what it going to happen.  He thinks everyone gives up on him and I hate the thought that if we can’t get him into an intensive day treatment program, we may have to be one of those people in his eyes.

We so want to see him succeed, but at this point, he won’t even try.  He insists he cannot change.  We hoped, that with time in a loving home where there’s stability and consistency, things would get better, but it seems to be having the opposite effect.

M is thriving.  She’s doing fairly well in school and making friends.  She’s generally a happy/helpful girl.  She can be outright sassy/snotty, especially towards T, but nothing out of the ordinary tween girl.

I don’t know what’s going to happen or what we’re going to do, but we have to put A’s welfare above all else and I don’t want her to be around constant yelling/turmoil.  I think J and I both agree that if they can’t get him into a day treatment program, he may need to go into some kind of inpatient program.  We can’t help someone who refuses to be helped.  😦

Sorry for the vent…hopefully my next post will be a cheerier one.

Share Your World #3

Regarding your fridge, is it organized or a mess inside?

Right now it’s a mess.  I try to keep it somewhat organized but between the hubby and the kids, it just doesn’t stay that way.  I do need to clean it out though!

Do you prefer your food separated or mixed together?

Separate except for my mashed potatoes and corn.  If I’m eating mashed potatoes, I must have butter and whole kernel corn all mixed in with it.  🙂  Unless it’s loaded mash potatoes and then I can skip the corn.

Do you prefer reading coffee table books (picture), biographies, fiction, non-fiction, educational?

Hmmm, it really depends on the subject.  I don’t really do coffee table books.  I like romance, I like biographies if I find the person interesting and I like educational when it comes to learned about essential oils and network marketing.

Close your eyes. Listen to your body. What part of your body is seeking attention? What is it telling you?  

My stomach.  It’s telling me to keep working out and to get back to the healthy food after a weekend of  Super Bowl binge eating.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I’m grateful for a family that loves and supports me and is ready to kick ass on my behalf if needed.  I’m looking forward to this weekend because our foster kiddos are going to respite for the weekend and J and I can get some time with just A and also each other.  Mom is watching A on Saturday while J and I go teach a YL class together and then head to Madison for dinner with Sister for her Birthday and to watch my niece in “Little Shop of Horrors”.  Should be a great weekend!

Want to join in the Share your World fun?  Check out Cee’s Blog.

Share Your World #2

I missed a week or two but I’m jumping back in!

What is the most incredible natural venue that you’ve ever seen in person?

Hmmm, I’ve seen some gorgeous sites.  I’d have to say it’s a toss up between a remote St. John’s beach and a beautiful Fall day in the mountains in Vermont.

How many siblings do you have? What’s your birth order?

I have 2 Sisters.  I am the baby.  One sister is 4 1/2 years older and the other is 3 years older.

If you were a shoe, what kind would you be and why?

It’s not technically a shoe but I’d totally be a comfy cozy slipper.

What is the strangest/weirdest thing you have ever eaten?

I’m not the most adventurous food person so I would have to say many different forms of sushi.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful my Sister volunteered to watch the kids last weekend while J and I went out for a quick linner as she called it and I’m looking forward to watching my nieces perform at the state dance team competition on Saturday.  

Want to join in the Share your world fun?  Check out Cee’s blog.

Birth Parent Visit

Let me start off saying that we adore Annabelle’s Birth Mom.  She is a gentle hearted Sweetheart that Blessed us with the most amazing gift possible.  After we last saw N when A was discharged from the NICU, we exchanged texts/pics every week or two.  Then all of a sudden we just quit hearing back from her.  The last time I had gotten a text was Oct 29th.  TPR was Nov 8th and the social workers said it’s not uncommon for them to go off the radar for a bit to get through what they just had to do.  Finally, at the beginning of January, J got a text back from her so we asked her if she’d like to come over for a visit (she lives less than 45 minutes from us).   She said yes and so we set the date for January 15th.  J called/texted a couple times that weekend and day to make sure we were in and give her directions but we didn’t hear back so we weren’t sure if she was going to show up. She did shop w up and she brought A’s 9 yr old full Sister with her to meet her.  She had told her kids about her over  Christmas.  If you remember, she had t known for a long time that she was pregnant and then she hid it from them all once she did.  Her Sister, whobwe’ll call D held and rocked her and then dived into playing with all the daycare toys in the basement.  N held and rocked her for a long time as we chatted about how things have been going.  You could tell it took a weight off her shoulders to see A doing so well.  I think they stayed about 3 hours.  I think J and I are both looking forward to the next visit and we told her to just let us know and for the most part, they can visit any time.  

I can’t express how nice it is to have that first visit over with and to know the dynamic of how this is going to go.  I’m so happy that this is an open adoption and that BM is so close by.  I think it will be a fantastic thing for A to just grow up with the norm being visits with N and D.  She’s blessed to have so many people lover her so much!  I hope that she will always be able to see it that way.  

I hope that you are all doing well!  I’m keeping up with reading although my comments tend to be sporadic and on the short side.  

Lots of Love~Dawn

4 Months

How is Little Miss A 4 months old already?!  It’s gone by so quickly.  She turned 4 months old yesterday on my Daddy’s birthday.  The 6th birthday that we’ve had without him on this earth.  Anyways, on to her update:

Weight:  12.38lbs (I think that put her in the 16th percentile)

Height:  23 inches (I think they said 12th percentile)

Medical Issues:   We’ve been dealing with a gunky eye for over a week now.  She had her 4 month appt a week early because Dr. G was leaving on Maternity leave and it was already goopy but she said to just watch it and if it gets pink or starts matting shut to bring her back in.  Well, the last couple days she wakes up with it all matted up so I think we’re dealing with a bout of conjunctivitis.  The lavender oil worked the first time but when the symptoms disappeared, I forgot to continue using it so I’ll call the Dr. in the morning if she wakes up with it matted shut again.  Until then, I’ll be applying lavender oil every 15-30 min around her upper cheek bone, brow bone and bridge of nose.

Sleep:  Her morning naps are more cat nap like because I don’t have the monitor set up in her room yet and I don’t like having her upstairs napping while I’m downstairs with the daycare kids in the morning.  Sometimes, she’ll sleep in the rock and play, sometimes the swing and sometimes the lillebaby.  In the afternoon, I put her down in her crib when the daycare kids go down at 1pm.  I tuck her into the magic sleep suit, turn on the fan and she’s out within a couple minutes and usually sleeps between 3-4 hours.

Nighttime –  she eats her cereal in-between 8 and 9 (usually closer to 8pm), then we get jammies and her owlet monitor on, have another bottle between 2-3 oz and she’s usually asleep between 9:3-10pm.  She normally sleeps til between 7-8pm but has fussed at 3:30 and 5:30am a couple times this week.  One night she cuddled in with Daddy at 3:30am and the other time it just took a putting in the paci a few times but she eventually went back to sleep.

Clothing Size:  3-6 Months in most things.  It’s so sad!  I packed up most of her 0-3 mo. clothes only keeping out a few things like her good luck packer onesies that better damn well work today…it’s not looking so hot this first quarter.

Diaper Size:  Size 1

Diet:  Up and Up Infant formula usually 3 oz bottles and rice cereal and fruit at night.  So far we’ve tried banana, applesauce, prunes, pears and peaches and she’s done well with all of them.  She has bottles anywhere between between 2 1/2-3 hours during the day with a long stretch without one during her afternoon nap and then closer to 2 hrs between them in the evening.

Baby Gear Love:  Lillebaby, rock and play and she is a big fan of her piano playmat!  She still loves, loves, loves her changing mat.  If she’s fussy, set her on there and you’ll get big smiles usually.  🙂

Milestones/Firsts:  We are getting much closer to outright laughs.  That neck is pretty solid now and she started sleeping through the night over Christmas vacation which is a beautiful thing!  We also think she has begun to teeth this last week.  Dr. G warned me it’d be coming and she’s just fussier than normal.  Luckily diluted Thieves rubbed on her gums calms her right down.  No fever or anything just extra fussy, starting to drool and constantly chewing on her fists if she doesn’t have her paci in.

Likes:  Baths, playmat, changing mat, food, Mommy and Daddy, being told she’s beautiful, peek a boo and her tag blanket.

Dislikes:  Tummy time…she absolutely despises it, getting out of the bath, having to wait for her cereal to get made.

Things I Don’t Want to Forget:  That huge smile, the start of those giggles, how much she loves to cuddle, that she does this cute little lip smack when she finishes a bottle.

What’s Next?  I hoping some out right giggles and belly laughs, rolling over and learning to like tummy time a bit more.  Also, hopefully she’ll start to get more interested in her toys.

How’s Mommy doing?  As far as Annabelle is concerned, I’m doing great.  I absolutely love being her Mom and I was away from her for 12 hours yesterday for the first time and it was torture.  When it comes to our newest foster placements, it’s another thing and I’m starting to feel a little selfish sometimes on at times, wishing we hadn’t taken fostering back on so soon.  I feel horrible even thinking that much less writing it when there’s so many kids that need fostering.  These kids are just way more challenging than L ever was so sometimes, it’s just exhausting.

How’s Daddy doing?  I think he too sometimes wishes we hadn’t taken on fostering right now.  He’s busy coaching 7th grade girls basketball right now so we don’t get to see him as much as we’d like.  We haven’t had a date night in forever either which is difficult now that the older kids are here.

Pics from the last month:

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Share Your World #1

I found this great challenge through another blogger.  Each week questions are posted to answer and I thought it’d be a great way to make sure I’m at least blogging weekly!  So, here we go!

If you lost a bet and had to dye your hair a color of the rainbow for a week, what color would it be?   

If pink was in the rainbow, I’d probably do a really bright pink but since it’s not, I have to go with a really bright pretty blue.
If you could choose one word to focus on for 2017, what would it be?

This is easy since I already had my word picked out.  It’s FIT.  14 days in and I’m doing pretty well.  I’ve had no soda or sugary treats.  I’ve been eating a lot more veggies, less carbs and working out at least a couple times a week.  

What was one thing you learned last year that you added to your life?

That I’m a great Mom.  Whether it be to Annabelle or our foster kiddos that come through, I was meant to be a Mom.  I was really questioning if I’d even be good at it at this point in my life but I’m loving my new role.

If life was ‘just a bowl of cherries’… which fruit other than a cherry would you be..?

I can’t pick between red grapes and strawberries so I’m going to have to go with a mix between the two.
Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I’m grateful for a Mom who is willing to drive 30 minutes to watch my daycare kids for me and doesn’t hesitate to say yes to watching all 3 of my kiddos this next Saturday and I’m looking forward to the “Change your Mindset” and Young Living “Live your Passion” rally conference I am going to on Saturday.

If you would like to do the “Share your World” challenge, check out Cee’s blog!