VACATION!!!!!

We all know everyone’s favorite advice for an infertile is to “just relax, take a vacation”!  Well Folks, I’m doing it!  Friday was my last day of daycare for a month.  A MONTH!!!!  The last time I had a full month off was probably when I was 15, maybe even younger.  There were a couple of times as a nanny that I had 3 weeks off, but the last time I did, I got a barthilyn cyst shortly after arriving home and had to have surgery with a very long and painful recovery that took up all my time off plus some.  Anywho…a month…one month of no babies to care for.  One month of no spit up on my floor.   One month of no crying babies.  One month of no cuddles and kisses (not that I get much cuddling anymore, they’re all on the move now).  I am going to miss them, in fact, I already do.  I got a little weepy saying goodbye to them on their last days.  One won’t be back next year (Mom’s due right before school starts so she’s taking the year off.  One is gone for the whole summer and will start back in fall (I know you’re not supposed to play favorites but he’s J and I’s favorite because J’s been friends with his Dad since college) and one will be back July 14th (she is a total cutie and I LOVE her parents).  I also have a new guy starting July 14th so hopefully, that will go well.  But until then, all I have to do is relax!  🙂

So, first up, we are headed to Devil’s Lake in Baraboo, WI.  It’s a State Park that has amazing hiking trails and a lake in the shape of a foot.  It’s like Paul Bunyan just stepped down and it filled with water.  J’s Birthday was this past Thursday (the big 35) and we found a great deal on a boat on Craigslist.  We both know we shouldn’t be spending the money but like I told him, we’ve spent the last 2.5 years ttc with more bad then good happening so you know what, we deserve to have a little fun and we both LOVE being on the water.  My MIL and FIL are going to so it’s a celebration of J’s Bday and Father’s Day.  We head out tomorrow morning and we’ll come back Wednesday.  Then Wednesday night we have J’s and my nieces bday party with my family and then hopefully on Thursday (if we get done everything we need to get done) we head out to CT.  

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before but I spent 12 years out in CT being a nanny.  10 of those years were with the same family and that is who we will be staying with.  I am very close with them (their daughter was a bridesmaid in our wedding) and haven’t made it out there since July of (2012), right before we got engaged.  They have 3 kids that I cared for.  The oldest is turning 24 on the 24th and is making a name for himself writing and producing music for some pretty famous people.  I’m so proud of him for following his dreams.  He was 8 when I started.  H, the only girl, is turning 21 on Sunday, she was 5, people, 5 when I started.  She goes to Tulane and makes movies and one of them just won Best Drama at the UCLA film festival.  Again, so proud!  D, who was unable to make my wedding (along with his Dad) because Hurricane Sandy hit right before my wedding and they had no power (Jane barely made it here, had to be an act of God that she got a flight out) turned 13 last Sunday.  He wasn’t even a twinkle in their eyes when I started, lol.  So, we’ll land in CT on Friday or Saturday and that first week is already filled with plans that Jane has for us.  Sat. night is dinner in NYC for H’s bday and the Sunday is her actual birthday.  The 24th is a bbq for her J’s bday and the 25th is a cocktail/appetizer reception for everyone to come see J, H, D, J and I.  We may or may not get a break after that, lol.

The thing I love most about being in CT (besides being with this wonderful family and my other friends that I miss so much) is the FOOD!!!!  Sakura, Colony Pizza, Barcelona….I’m drooling at the thought of all that amazing food.  I CANNOT WAIT!!!!  2 years without any of that food is just way too long IMO.  I also love that we’re only an hour from NYC and couple of hours from Boston so we get to go and enjoy those places too.

It won’t be a total break.  I will be bringing the opk’s and the preseed along.  We need to give this natural cycle our best effort.  She dilated my cervix during the surgery so that should help with the stenosis.  I’m trying to remember to take the fertile cm to help with my non existent mucas and I want to try and find those soft cups I’ve heard about.  Walmart didn’t have them when I looked.   So, I will be relaxed in a still trying kind of way, lol.

Recovery is almost complete.  I spent the day yesterday cleaning like crazy and shampooing carpets.  I definitely felt it today.  I was pretty crampy this morning but for the most part, the scabs are just itchy and starting to fall off.  I hope you are all well and enjoying your summer!  

Hugs,

Dawn

Recovery Time…

Before I get into my surgery and how it all went, I wanted to give you all an update on the young lady I wrote about in my last post.  P is doing well!  She is home surrounded by her family and loved ones.  Her physical healing has been faster then expected and she’s only having to do 1 pain killer in the morning and 1 at bed.  Otherwise they are able to keep most of the pain away with motrin throughout the day.  They are very much enjoying their time together as a family but they know they still have a long way to go, especially with the emotional trauma they have all endured.

Now for my surgery.  Dr. R performed a laparoscopy on Friday.  She had originally thought that I had stage 2 or 3 endometriosis, but when she got in there, it was stage 4.  I had endometrial cysts on both ovaries, some tissue on my left tube and all over my bladder.  She was able to get it all cleaned out and also dilated my cervix 3-4cm to help with the cervical stenosis.  She of course can’t give us exact numbers or statistics, but she believes that our chances of getting pregnant (possibly even naturally) have gone up quite a bit.  

When she talked to J while I was still in recovery, she suggested trying an IUI right away, but when she came in after I was awake and pretty coherent to show me the pics (which we got to keep, lucky me, a souvenir from surgery, lol) we decided that we’d try naturally this month because we are leaving on vacation in less than 2 weeks.  I’m staying on BCP for another week because we’re not allowed to BD for 2 weeks.  If I would’ve stopped them right away, I’d be ovulating before we could even BD.  

Recovery has been rough so far.  I don’t remember the reason why, but they basically pump air into you during the surgery, so now when I try to get a good deep breath, pain shoots through my ribs, chest, shoulders and into my upper back.  My abdomen is definitely sore, but by far the worst part is the air that is stuck inside still and causing all that other pain.  Also, I’m a tummy sleeper so having to be on my back all the time is so annoying.  I tried sleeping on my side but that just makes the pain worse.  J is staying home tomorrow to help with the daycare kids, but then he has to go into school Tuesday and Wednesday to finish up his hours for the school year.  Thursday is his Birthday and Friday is my last day of work and then I have a month off (so excited).

I did finally get a shower this morning and that felt great.  I tried to shave my legs though and that really didn’t work out, lol.  One of my daycare babies turns 1 today so we are going to venture out for a little bit to go to his party.  Other than that, it’s a lot of laying in bed, watching hgtv and looking at fb.  J has been the best, most supportive caretaker I could’ve have ever asked for.  I didn’t realize how difficult this surgery would actually be on him.  It sounds like he did a lot of pacing while he was waiting for the surgery to be over and for me to wake up.  

Right now, despite the pain (which I feel horrible even complaining about after knowing what that little girl has been through) I am feeling extremely Blessed.  All of the prayers that were said, the text messages checking in on me, Family and Friends stepping in to help out so I didn’t have to close daycare, I am very, very Blessed and Thank God for such awesome people in my life!  I hope you all are doing well!  You are all strong, remarkable women who deserve to get miracle babies!  Prayers going out to you all.

Hugs,

Dawn

Life is Precious!

My original post today was going to be about working towards getting healthy again.  Instead…it’s going to be a reminder about how precious life is no matter how hard infertility is.  When J and I first met, he had a roommate named John.  John was fantastic.  He’s an older gentleman around our parent’s age.  He and his wife are originally from WI (where we live) but have moved all over the world for his job.  They thought they had moved for the last time and bought the home where they planned to retire in Mesquite, NV.  John ended up getting transferred again to La Crosse, WI and his wife refused to move again.  He found J’s ad for a roommate on Craigslist and he ended up being one of the best things that’s happened to both of us.  He did the readings at our wedding and lived with us up until last July when he got transferred again.  We miss him ALOT!!!  You’re probably asking yourselves, where is she going with this?

This morning J sent me a text (he’s chaperoning the 8th grade trip to DC) saying John’s 12 year old granddaughter had been stabbed and is in the ICU and he was asking that we send out prayers.  Here is the news story:  http://www.wqow.com/story/25670033/2014/06/02/12-year-old-girls-stab-friend-19-times-in-planned-attack

My heart is just breaking for this little girl and her family.  I can’t imagine the devastation and trauma that they all, but especially P, must feel knowing that two girls she though were her friends had been planning to kill her for several months.  And what the hell is wrong with kids these days?  Why are they getting so violent and why aren’t their parents doing anything about it?  I don’t understand why so many parents are afraid to actually parent their kids.  Our parents weren’t afraid to parent us so why are so many of our peers afraid to do it.  

Life is a gift, it is precious and even during the extremely hard times, it is wonderful.  I am so Thankful that P is going to be okay, but she has a long road of recovery ahead of her.  If I could please just ask for your prayers for her and her family.  Not just for physical healing but also for the emotional trauma that I can’t even being to imagine she and her family is feeling. Please pray for strength, comfort and peace for all of them.  Thank you!