IUI #5 is NOT a Go :(

$300 worth of follistim in my fridge that is open because we had to use a whole 25 iu’s of it last cycle.  $300 worth of follistim that I don’t get to use for IUI #5 because it will go bad by then.  Cysts on both ovaries this month so they didn’t want to do the cycle.  $300 worth of follistim that even though I probably shouldn’t…I AM going to use unmonitored.  I CANNOT throw $300 out the window right now.

Has anyone else ever done anything like this?  (Please make me feel better by saying yes, lol.)

I think it can only do good, not be harmful.  If I would have insisted, they would have let me cycle but they didn’t recommend it.  Oils were immediately applied to ovaries to hopefully help them shrink instead of getting bigger and bursting.  I really don’t want to go through that pain.  Hoping my Sister has clove oil that I can get from her so I can do the oral option too and not just topical.  If anyone wants that protocol it is:  rub orange, then frankincense and the basil on your lower abdomen.  It smells really good til you put the basil on, lol.  For some reason, I just do not love the smell of the basil oil.

In all honesty, Ladies, I was a hot mess yesterday.  I was such a hot mess, that I couldn’t even sit down to write this post.  Cycles get cancelled all the time, I get that.  It had more to do with the stress of money and throwing out that medicine then having to sit out a month.  On top of that, I didn’t see my usual Dr., I saw the one that comes from Madison to do the IVF cycles.  I’d never met her before and although she was nice enough, she wasn’t Dr. R  or even Megan or Jamie who usually do my IUI’s.  She didn’t really know my story so it was just hard to take that news from her.

She also said that she doesn’t see many follicles in (or on, not sure the right word for it) my ovaries.  Just by looking at the ultrasounds she doesn’t think our chances with IVF are very good, maybe 35%.  She had me go to the lab for a blood draw so they could test my AMH and she wants us to come in for an IVF consult week after next (more about that later).  Now, we were leaning more towards adoption then IVF anyways, but Girls, I was devastated….DEVASTATED!!!!   To feel like that option was just ripped away from us in case we did find the money to do it just tore me apart.  I bawled all the way home and in J’s arms for quite a while after I got home.  And on the phone with my Mom after J left to go to some benefit thing.

J doesn’t want to go to the IVF consult…he doesn’t want to go to any Dr. this month because he says I just get stressed out and he just wants to take the month off.  What he doesn’t seem to grasp is that just because we’re taking the month off from IUI’s and dr.’s, doesn’t mean I’m not going to stress (I REALLY SUCK at giving my worries over to God).

So where does this leave us?  I don’t totally know.  I’ll finish up the follistim because I can’t stand to waste it.  Do OPK’s and TI and Pray, Pray, Pray!  Hopefully the cysts will go away peacefully and gently without pain and we will be ready to do IUI#5 next cycle.  I don’t know how many more J will let me do.  Again, he’s totally freaking out about money and credit card debt.  I can’t really blame him though, it is a little scary.  If we’re not pregnant by the end of the year, we will put our names in to hopefully start the adoption process in January.

I need to Thank you Ladies for all the comments and Love you send my way.  They mean so, so, so much to me.  Although most of my friends and family are very supportive, no one, not even J, can understand the way you Girls can.  Sending much Love, thoughts, Prayers, Baby Dust and Hugs to you all!!!!

22 thoughts on “IUI #5 is NOT a Go :(

  1. So sorry girl! I know this sucks! When I have trouble giving my worries over to God I always remind myself of WHO He is. He created the heavens and earth just by speaking. He says in Jer 29:11 that His plans for us are to prosper and not to harm. Rest assured sugars that He won’t do anything to harm you. He loves you far too much. Also, I know the doctors have their reports but they have their limits. God is limitless and nothing will stop Him from fulfilling the desires in your heart. He can anything and everything with even nothing :). Love ya!! Don’t be discouraged!

  2. With cysts I would lower your dose a TON if you are going unmonitored. The risk of ovarian torsion goes through the ROOF when you have cysts and are on fertile meds, which is why docs choose to err on the side of caution. The last thing you want is to lose an ovary.

    For example, my normal dose is 225, and when I go unmonitored I drop down to 50-75 for only 3 days. I have still ovulated every time.

    That being said- as long as it is stored correctly, and you haven’t reused needles, your follistim doesn’t “stop working” on its use by date. I have used mine up to 4 months after the open date and had the same results follicle wise, so don’t feel like you HAVE to use it all this month.

    So sorry girl, I know how frustrating this is!!

    • After hearing from a lot of different people…we decided we’ll for go using the follistim but we are going to hold on to it. It sounds like other people have used an open cartridge up to 4 months later. And hopefully we’ll just be waiting another month. Thank you for your kind words! 🙂

  3. DO NOT GO ROGUE ON INJECTIBLES. I have $400 in Gonal F in my fridge and three failed IUIs plus a million cancelled cycles, so I get it. But if you have cysts or OHSS, you will be really, really sorry and you will be putting your life in danger, literally. Especially if you got cysts last cycle, this is a terrible idea!!!!

    Even on Clomid or Femara, they monitor the cycles for a reason. The injectibles are SO SO much more dangerous, and they never know how you will respond.

      • Just kidding. Just read your posts above. This is a terrible idea anyway. If you had cysts like this, injectibles are no joke. Don’t go rogue on them at all! And believe me, I understand the call of the Gonal F in my fridge.

    • After hearing from several people that I can hold onto the follistim and use it next month, we decided to wait. The RE had said it had to be used up in 28 days and that is why we were going to use it, I can’t afford to just throw $300 worth of medicine in the garbage…and they did give me the choice on whether or not to go ahead with the IUI which is why I was just going to take it anyway.

  4. I really was when it first happened but now, I’m okay with it. I’m actually not sure what cd I’m even on right now…in fact, I don’t even know the date of my last period off the top of my head which is just crazy talk for me, lol. I would if I went back and looked at a calendar though and I’m pretty positive I’m in the last few days of my cycle. Now I’m just hoping that they went away on their own and will be gone for my next cd 3 u/s. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Let It go | OurGreatestDesire

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