Guys…when it comes to the miscarriage, I feel like I’ve been doing pretty good (or in denial).  However, in 4 hours and 3 min, it will be March 6th, and I will be 38.  And I’m not a Mom and I’m not pregnant anymore and it just hurts.

We are just getting into the adoption process and between that and licensing, I am just so beyond overwhelmed.

My MIL and SIL have put us through hell this last week and it has been just a really crappy birthday week.  On top of that, as usual, J’s college alumni basketball tournament is on Saturday and his hometown hs plays the district he teaches in tomorrow night so my weekend is also full of basketball.

When my Mom was 38, my Sister was already out on her own and I was a couple years from graduating hs and here I sit, not even have started.

It just sucks!  I’m sorry, I know I’m totally being a debbie downer and I know I have so many wonderful blessings.  I really do know that.  It’s just that tonight, it’s hurting, a lot and you’re the only ones that truly understand.

Lots of Love~Dawn


38 thoughts on “38

  1. Oh how I understand this post…I’m turning 38 this year too…and I feel the same. I should have already been DONE with having kids…but in the same boat. I just have to keep thinking and believing that our time will come…however we become Moms…we WILL become Moms…no one can stop us…and then when we have our kids…we will finally understand why this had to happen the way it did 🙂 Keep believing girly…we will walk together at 38 and become MOMs soon!!!! xoxoxo

  2. I’m so sorry Dawn. Birthdays can be so tough when you are struggling with IVF. I hope you are able to find a bit of happiness on your special day. I’m thinking about you.

  3. oh hun I am so sorry. I know birthdays can be really hard. Even though I am a few years younger my last birthday was so hard . Being overwhelmed on top of that is just awful. I am thinking of you and I hope you can find a way to make your day special. love you friend! xoxo

  4. Oh sugars! I know this stings. But I am trusting and believing that not only does God have great plans in store for you but great plans in store for your future children. So while it sucks that the plans haven’t worked out like we thought, He has an even greater plan of redemption for you. And I have a feeling they will be ah-may-zing. But it still sucks in the moment. And for that I am praying for you. Praying for joy to overtake you and peace to flood you. Oh…and sending you lots if virtual hugs! Happy birthday sugars! May God surround you with favor like a shield! Xo

    • Thank you so much, Elisha! Just writing that post tonight and getting it all out has helped already. Between J just being wonderful and letting me have my breakdown and my wonderful blogging Sisters, things are already looking brighter. 🙂

  5. I am so sorry you are struggling with your birthday and family drama. Honestly, I get it – mine was just the other day and my parents completely forgot it (I’ll write about that in a post soon enough I’m sure).
    I tackled the day by being super busy! Like, insanely busy. I didn’t focusing on my birthday necessarily, but I was too busy to think about what turning another year older means to me right now. Oh, and I didn’t look at anything adoption or pregnancy or baby related, it just seemed like a good idea to steer clear of anything that would upset me.
    I hope you are able to find some happiness tomorrow. And, if nothing else, I hope the day passes quickly.

    • Thank you so much! I am so sorry your parents forgot, I can’t imagine what that must have feel like. I am thankful that at least there’s no drama on my side of the family. We’re kind of boring, really, lol. I think you had a good plan with steering clear of things baby related. The good news is my little stinker has tomorrow off, so work wise, hopefully the day will go a little smoother than usual. 🙂

  6. I’m turning 38 in a few months too! It’s crazy how infertility ruins birthdays. We’re not old, but in infertility age we might as well be ancient. Don’t worry about being a Debbie downer. Everything you’re feeling is totally legit! Even though you have many blessings, sometimes you just feel like crap anyway and that’s ok! It just means you’re human. Xo.

  7. I think birthdays are already hard enough when you’re struggling and going through IVF, everything else just doesn’t seem fair. I’m sorry it’s been a crappy one for you.

  8. Happy birthday, my birthday twin! ❤

    I'm feeling that way right now with turning 33 today. By the time my mom was my age, she'd had all three of her kids already, and I just want my ONE. Still, we are totally going to be moms, one way or another!

    • Thank you, Caroline! So far, it’s been a good day. J got up early and made me breakfast and he got me a new bike for my birthday. Ours went flying off our truck this past summer on our trip out East.

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