Although, I didn’t have a baby in my arms and I wasn’t almost 6 months pregnant, like I should be, all in all, my 1st Mother’s Day weekend was pretty darn good.
There were tears, several times actually, but not always tears of sadness.
The first were when my SIL recognized our loss. The second set was during J’s little cousin’s dance recital. They did a Daddy/Daughter dance and I just so want that for J someday so I totally bawled during that. It was just so touching! The third set was when we went to dinner with my Mom, Sister, nieces and nephew. My Mom gave my Sister and I each a card with a candle that smells exactly like the lilac bushes outside her house. Her card was just so sweet and completely touched my heart. The 4th set was when I read something my Sister posted on FB on Sunday wishing everyone a “Happy Mother’s Day” but asking for her friends to remember those that have lost and those that are waiting and to pray for them. The fifth set happened last night. I stopped home while J was waiting for the tow truck to come get my car (a whole other story) and one of our small group leaders stopped by and dropped off a card for us. They are the ones that have adopted 3 children through our agency and have really been helping us through this process. His wife had dropped off a card and chocolate for me last year so I wasn’t surprised to see him dropping off a card again this year. I stuck the card in my purse and headed back out to follow the tow truck to the mechanics. When we got home, I opened it up and inside was a $500 check to put towards our adoption! Cue tears!!!! I still don’t know how we will be able to completely express our Thankfulness and gratitude for their very generous gift.
There were other tears this weekend (I know, y’all probably think I spent the whole weekend crying), but those were the ones that had to do with Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, the other tears were very much sad tears. My Aunt called my Mom Saturday morning to let her know that they are only giving my Uncle 2 weeks – 2 months left to live. He’s going downhill rapidly. J and I went to see him yesterday because I’m in New Orleans next weekend for a graduation and I wanted to make sure I saw him at least one more time. When we got there, he had just gotten up and my cousin said it was the 1st time he had really been out of bed since Wednesday. We spent a couple hours there talking and reminiscing. My Mom, other Aunt, and Sister were supposed to go this afternoon to see him, but my cousin called and said they were having a hard time getting his breathing under control (his brain is no longer telling his diaphragm to breathe) so they were pretty sure he was going to be moved to an in-patient facility down by Madison. Now they’re just waiting for the call to see where he’s at so they can get down there one more time at least to see him.
Although, my Uncle and I aren’t super close, he is the last male in my family that I’m at all close with. He is also my GodFather. I have an Uncle left on my Dad’s side, but I only see them once every couple years usually. There’s one more Uncle on my Mom’s side too, but he’s an alcoholic and nobody ever sees him because he spends his life at the bar. How he’s not the one to die first, I don’t know. I guess they’re not kidding when they say only the good die young. I’m hurting for my Aunt who just lost her Mom a couple weeks ago, my cousins because I’ve been there and know what they’re going through, and my Mom and Aunt who have to say goodbye to their brother. Even though none of us want him to continue to have to suffer, saying goodbye is so hard. He is going to be greeted by a lot of people when he gets to Heaven’s gates though.
I hope you all were able to get though yesterday without too much trouble. I had quite a few people acknowledge the day for me either in person or via fb message and it definitely made it a little easier.
Lots of Love~Dawn