I hate it and frankly, it tends to piss me off!
Listen, I get it. J’s the head of the household and ultimately, gets to make the final decision on things. However, I spent 17 years of my adult life (from 18-35) making my own decisions. Sure, I would seek the counsel of my Mom on anything big (and usually listened to her since she is very rarely wrong) but ultimately, the decision was mine to make.
Fast forward getting married, and all of a sudden, I need to talk purchases over with another person and sometimes, seek permission. And let me tell you, often times, permission is not granted and it pisses me off. Sometimes, I can take it with a grain of salt, okay, rarely I can take it like a grain of salt and other times, it breaks my heart (like when he first said no to Bandit…and he was free). This weekend is one of those times that it’s really pissing me off.
So, back story, last April, we sold my Kia Soul to try and go down to one car for the summer and save some money. I quickly realized that I hated not having my independence. By the time we got home from vacation in July, I was ready for my own vehicle again so we went car shopping. I wanted something practical, like a Toyota prius, and wanted to lease it so it’d be more affordable for us and I work from home and J walks to school so we don’t have commuter miles. Instead, we came away with this. Although I look happy in the pic, I actually did not want that car. J and the salesman had to talk me into it. Well, I should have stuck with my gut instinct because before the month was over, it was already having problems. The coolant needs to be refilled every few weeks and it wouldn’t start and kept having to be jumped. We took it back to where we bought it and they put in a new alternator but the coolant problem never got fixed. Guess where that car has been for the last 3 weeks? I’ll give you a hint…not in our garage!
Nope, we decided to take it to a mechanic because we need to sell it. Neither of our vehicles is conducive to holding a car seat and with going through the adoption process, I want an SUV that will hold us, the dogs and the baby. Our regular mechanic is out of commission having his knees replaced so we went to a place nearby that had good reviews. Well, he put dye in it the first week to see if there was any visible leaks and there wasn’t. So then, he tells us to pick it up and drive it around for a week and if the dye gets in the motor, then we will know for sure it’s the head gasket. So J picks it up the Friday before Mother’s day, stops at the bakery to pick something up for his Mom, comes out to drive home and the car won’t start. We borrow my Mom’s triple A card and get it towed back there. Finally, at the end of last week, they look at it and say it’s the starter, so we give them the go ahead to order the starter and then they call and say they don’t think it’s the starter after all, it’s the flywheel (don’t ask, I have no idea). So needless to say, car still not in working order and we still don’t really know what’s actually wrong with it.
So Saturday, I said I wanted to go shopping for a car. I have 3 criteria which J knew before hand and agreed to.
- It needs to be from this decade so a 2010 or newer.
- It needs to have bluetooth. I’m sure this will be a law before long in WI.
- It needs to have a sun/moon roof. We both want this.
So we stop at a dealership Saturday and low and behold, like the 4th car we seen in the used car part has everything I want and is the exact color I prefer. So, we go in, and ask to test drive it. It’s great…rides smooth and has everything I want plus way more. Go back in and figure out what the payments would be, J says he needs to sleep on it and wants us to look at our budget again. Okay, fine, there going to be closed the next 2 days anyways so it’s not like someone could snatch it out from under me. Well, Saturday night after working outside all night and a couple of beers, he says I can get it but still wants to do the budget, fine, we have to do it for the adoption paperwork anyways. Monday morning, we finally do it. We’re actually in better shape going into the summer than I thought we would be because I thought his last paycheck would be the 15th and it’s not til June 30th.
Well, guess who changed his mind. Now he doesn’t want to get the car and keeps trying to find me other cheaper cars that don’t fit my criteria and I’m sorry, I may sound like a spoiled brat to some of you, but I’m just having none of it. My gut told me not to get that stupid convertible and I should have listened to it and I am not backing down on what I want this time. For me, this is the worst part of marriage, having to seek permission.