Clarification

I feel like I need to clarify something from my “Submission” post.  Although it does piss me off that J is saying “no” to the vehicle.  I do understand why he is.  He is not controlling…He’s just way more financially conservative than I am.  Submission is a bible concept, and one that I never thought I’d agree with, but in our house, it really does just go towards big purchase things for us.  He would move South in a heartbeat, but because I don’t want to move away from my family again, we are staying in WI.  We absolutely have a partnership, he does hear me out and I know that he does not want to have to tell me “no”.  He would love to be able to give this to me and for me to be able to be a stay at home wife/Mom, unfortunately, it’s just not happening on a teacher’s salary in WI with the debt that we have.

The funny thing is, except for one 0% interest card, not of our debt is credit card debt.  This would have been a non-issue if I was still doing daycare in Tomah.  I was the breadwinner then and I’m definitely regretting my decision to move the daycare to West Salem.  The commute wasn’t fun, especially in the winter, but I had loyal daycare parents and my Mom right there to help.  I was much happier work wis than I am now.  I have had 3 different calls about daycare in the last week and hopefully, I’ll get all of them and he will change his mind before the car is sold.

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16 thoughts on “Clarification

  1. Honestly, I assumed that J wasn’t a dictator in your last post, just that you were annoyed and having a rough day and needed to vent. We all have those days and it’s okay to vent every now and again!
    P.S. I hope you get the extra day care kids!! I know it would help alleviate some of your stress. 🙂

  2. Marriage can be hard. Period. I appreciate your honestly and took your last post similar to MPB’s in that you just needed to vent.
    Hoping you get some really great families soon 😊

  3. I’m sorry if my comment struck a cord. I know every relationship is different. I wasn’t trying to offend you or anyone else. I should probably clarify from my comment that my husband and I make big decisions together but a lot of times I’m the one who makes the final decision because I handle the finances. At the end of the day, as long as your relationship works and you’re both happy, that’s what matters.

    • No offense at all! I just realized that I was maybe portraying that he was being a jerk and wanted to make sure that’s not how he was coming across. He’s just very practical at times and I’m more of a “if we keep working hard, it’ll take care of itself” kind of person. It’s tough, especially because once upon a time, I made more so it’s a hard pill to swallow at times and I miss having the kind of loyalty that I had from my daycare parents in Tomah. WS is just a whole other kind of town and it’s definitely taking getting used to.

  4. Girl you don’t have to justify your marriage dynamics to the blogosphere! LOL. Even in the last post it sounded like a perfectly normal marital situation (to me at least, which is saying something since I’m the most militant feminist I know!). Even in the most loving, stable marriages couples sometimes disagree about and (gasp!) ARGUE about financial decisions. You’re allowed to feel pissed off, you’re allowed to vent, you’re even allowed to make your husband seem like a great big jerk (though — sidenote — you didn’t) if it helps you process your feelings and get you back to a place where you guys can revisit the issue. Marriage is hard! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for pointing out it’s not always sunshine and rainbows!

  5. Okay, car shopping brings out the worst in people. Jordan HATES car shopping as much as he probably hates anything else in life. So stressful! And you want to make sure you aren’t getting ripped off. I hope you’re able to find something you can both love and agree on!

  6. Quite frankly I am impressed that you follow that! I am the same way – having been a single mom fro years before getting remarried, I was quite content to make my own decisions and not have to discuss them with anyone. Now however, we live on a tight budget, and are learning to communicate over even small purchases in order to reach our financial goals and be in alignment with each other, It really does help. If you’ve never heard of it – check out Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. We took it together through our church and it is awesome for building your financial goals and dreams together!
    https://www.daveramsey.com/new/baby-steps/

    • I’ve done the financial peace class also, just not good at following it, lol. I totally get why people do it and that it’s a great thing. I just don’t have that much discipline or willpower (in any area of my life, lol). J didn’t take it with me though because we weren’t married yet so they wouldn’t consider us a couple and therefore would have had to pay for 2 people. 😦

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