Okay Peeps…I need some help because I am what some would call….technologically challenged. I know some of you also have your blogs though Bloglovin’, but I can’t figure out how to do it. I follow a few non IF ladies over there and would like to have my blog easily visible to them through that site. Also, how do you do these link ups? I can’t figure it out and I’d like to participate in this Write or Die Wednesday that one of the ladies I follow does. If you have any advice or tips for me…I would definitely appreciate it!
Thank you and Lots of Love~Dawn
Truth: I’m a little (possibly a lot) envious of all you who are going through IVF or preparing to go through it.
It’s not that I necessarily want to pump my body full of hormones or go through all that IVF entails, but that I want that chance to experience pregnancy and because of finances (and age), I’m not getting that chance. And lately, that has really been bothering me.
I mean, come on, infertility sucks enough as is, but when we get the few choices we have taken away because of money, it just sucks even more. I know, I know, I’m preaching to the choir here.
Anyways, I don’t know why exactly it’s been on mind so much. Maybe it’s because so many of you that I follow are either pregnant as a result of IVF, in the middle of IVF or gearing up for IVF. Maybe it’s because one month from today is supposed to be my due date and it’s starting to hit me (the box full of similac samples welcoming me to the sisterhood of motherhood that showed up in the mail yesterday really didn’t help). I really don’t know why it’s hitting me so hard now.
I’m excited for adoption, I am. I think that I’m just finally starting to mourn the fact that I may never get to be pregnant. I’ve started researching embryo adoption a bit, but who am I kidding, right now, it’s not even close to feasible. We’re dealing with the stupid car, I have 1 full time daycare kid for Fall and few part timers and no prospects right now for more. I am really starting to worry and get scared and trying really hard not to show it to J because he is the money worrier and I need to be strong and help him to keep Faith that God will provide.
Faith, I just need to keep the Faith.
So I just finished washing and cutting up all this:
The great thing about only having one daycare kiddo this summer is that I can take him to the store with me! So off we went to Aldi’s this morning to do some grocery shopping. After I put him down for a nap, I got busy washing and cutting up the fruits and veggies. They are all stored in glass containers now that I know how horrible plastic is. I feel absolute guilt over having plastic daycare toys, but unfortunately, I just can’t afford to replace those right now.
I’ve also been doing something active each day. Sunday, J and I did stretching and a leg workout together. Yesterday morning, I got up and did w1/d1 of c25k. I was only able to do the jogging part for the first half of it and then had to switch to all walking, but I will try again tomorrow. Unfortunately, my legs just don’t like me anymore. I used to be able to run 5k’s (slowly) but now, whether it’s walking or jogging some part of my lower leg hurts. I can’t walk long before my calves really hurt and jogging hurts my shins. I’m hoping, the more I do it, the better it will get, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fibro. Today, I walked for 30 minutes right after I put the little one down for his nap. I switched up speed and incline within that 30 minutes.
Car update: We’re trying to find a refurbished motor, but so far, no such luck. Well, let me take that back. I think he found 1 but it’s $1600 and has 120,000 miles on it. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us financially, but I know it’s really weighing on J. I just keep looking him in the eyes and telling him it’s okay, just have Faith. Somehow, someway, God always brings us through it.
A huge Thank You to “The Sky and Back” for sharing what Dr. Bravermen told her about things to help with endometriosis. I’ve got lots of thinking and researching to do.
You guys, have I told you lately that I love you? For real. Your comments on my last post were just beyond. Not to mention my friends in real life that reached out to me as well. Thank you everyone. A million times over.
Last Tuesday I had my Skype consult with Dr. Braverman and found out the results of my immune testing. Basically, all the findings were consistent with endometriosis. This is pretty good news overall – there’s nothing else more sinister lurking on the sidelines.
Warning: I’m about to get very long-winded and detailed. I want to share as much as possible in case I can help anyone on the interwebs searching for information.
What the testing found:
I am genetically predisposed to endometriosis (duh at this point), Grave’s disease, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Antiphospholipid Syndrome (this one is no surprise either), Celiac, psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis
This does not mean I have any of…
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As J was on his way to yet another funeral (his Great-Aunt this time), the convertible died a 3rd time (Thank God we got Triple A after the first incident). This time, it’s dead and gone. It would need a whole new engine, not to mention the exhaust and rear brakes need to be fixed. Problem is, there’s no way we can get out from under the damn thing. I have no idea what we’re going to do. We’ve listed it on craigslist and eBay as basically, a mechanic’s special, but we’re not going to get close to what we owe on it. We bought it last year for $5200, it’s on the same loan as our truck and we owe just under $10,000 for both. Fantastic news when I still haven’t gotten anymore daycare kids for fall. 😦
Truth: I’ve let my relationship with God go lately.
I don’t know what happened. I still have absolute Faith in God so it’s not that, but I’ve let our relationship die lately. I haven’t really been praying all that much. I haven’t been in His word and we haven’t been going to Church. We haven’t even been watching the sermons from home like we were during the winter.
J and I constantly say we’re going to start doing our devotions again each night, but then we never do. Part of it is summer. We’re up late and completely beat by the time we go to bed. Part of it was that we weren’t going to bed at the same time before that which is when we always used to do it. Part of it is that we are just not being disciplined enough and letting other things be our first priority instead of God.
I hate having to admit that.
We need to get back on track. Our lives are better and our marriage is better when we’re keeping Him our number 1 priority.
Bonus Truth: AF showed up cd22….WTH?!!!!
As I sit here on my last official morning of vacation (because I always have weekends off), I’m reflecting on the last 3 weeks and life in general.
Truth: I didn’t get nearly as much done these last 3 weeks as I would’ve liked. I didn’t get all the projects done. We never made it to the Dells to just enjoy a day together. We didn’t go up North (totally my choice, but still). I didn’t work on my diet and I didn’t work out, other than being more active because of all the projects. Here is what we did get done though:
Tore out the bottom drywall in E’s (roommate) room. Tore out the carpet, painted and resurrected the wall. Moved all her stuff back in. Here’s the finished project for now. We will put in nicer flooring at some point, but she’s not exactly careful with our stuff, so we’re just not ready to spend that money yet.
Everything else (except the unfinished basement part, which isn’t quite done), I totally forgot to do before and after photos of…hate it when I do that!
Imagine this desk piled sky high with stuff. So much stuff I could barely close the roll top and I had stuff all over the top of it too. Yep, got this all cleaned off yesterday and filed everything that needed to be filed! Oh, and the shelf above the desk was also terrible. Full of even more wires and boxes then you see now. We paused our Direct TV subscription for 2 months and decided to try out Apple TV….OMGosh…….BEST THING EVER!!! I get to watch Netflix and HuluPlus without plugging my computer to TV now (which totally wasn’t working well to begin with). I highly recommend it. We also decided we’d get a Roku 3 because you can stream Amazon Prime with that and you can’t with Apple TV. We were going to put it in the basement for E, but I liked it so much that we put that in our bedroom, Apple TV in the living room and we got the Roku stick for down in the basement. We also got a digital antenna so we will hopefully get most of the Packer games come fall. All in all, we spent less than $250 on it all. That’s less than we would pay for 3 months of direct tv. We pay $15/month for our subscriptions to netflix and huluplus.
There are some definite downsides. Totally missing Fixer Upper on HGTV. I do get some HGTV shows through Hulu so I’m not going through total withdrawal, but I do miss Chip and Joanna. Also, come Christmas Season, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get the Hallmark movies. I’m hoping I can find away though. Otherwise, the pups and I will be spending hunting season at my Mom’s so I can watch them, lol.
Now imagine this room with piles of clothes on the floor, stuff all over the dresser and books all over the floor by the bed. Over where J’s chair (ugly thing he brought home from a rummage sale and absolutely loves) was a huge wire rack with my Thirty One stuff, movies, and an assortment of who knows what on it. That got moved to the basement and we brought J’s gun cabinet up. J hung up shelves (he found these remnants of counter tops at Menard’s for $1.49 for a 4 ft. section. If you come over, you will spy them all over now. Shelves in the bedroom, garage and basement so far. 🙂
Basement, oh the basement. This has been on my list of projects for a long while now! Everything just gets thrown into the unfinished part or the garage (which drives J nuts! He’s very into an organized garage.) We started working on it yesterday afternoon. First we cleared off all the shelves in the finished area, set up the roku stick, hooked up the wii and xbox downstairs, and anchored the bookcases on either side of the tv to the wall. It looks so much better and I’m so happy with it! Then we actually took a break to go to J’s co-workers house because his wife just stopped doing daycare and they were letting us come early to shop her rummage sale. Got some cute stuff for the kiddos. We then went to Menard’s and grabbed some food. It was 10pm when we got home and we were just starting the unfinished area. I said we were staying up til it was done, but at 3am, we threw in the towel. J’s leg was really hurting, my feet and all the rest of me were tired and he had to get up at a decent time today to mow lawns. I’m going to work on it again today and can’t wait to show you before and after photos.
We also bought my Mom a stove from a neighbor (2 of her burners rarely work), so we surprised her with that Tuesday night and J also fixed the soffet on her front porch for her. There were major bird’s nests in there and also a couple of old bee hives.
So, what could possibly be left on our list…oh, so much stuff. Off the top of my head we need to:
Finish the basement.
Put the carpet in the playroom (we’ve had it for almost 3 years now).
Install the new toilet and sink/countertop in the Master bath.
Spray paint the rest of the shutters blue.
Paint the brick on the front of our house.
Stain the deck.
Also added to the list last night……an egress window! We had a company come out yesterday to give us an estimate and as usual, J has decided it’s too high and he’ll just do it himself with the help of some friends. As usual, this makes me very nervous since it’s a really huge project, but everything else he’s put his mind to and done himself has pretty much worked out so I will have faith this will to.
I am also going to turn an old entertainment center into a play kitchen. I will definitely make sure I do before and after’s of that.
Okay, this post is now way longer than I had originally planned and I have at least 2 more Truth’s to tell you so I guess this is going to be a series of posts now. Stay tuned for the next one!
Lots of Love~Dawn
We did it! We turned in all our paperwork this morning to the adoption agency. It is such an amazing feeling to know that it’s done and no longer in my house (except for all the copies I made of everything, lol). Our home study meeting is scheduled for August 13th and our classes are August 17th and 18th. My goal is to have our portfolio done by then so we can immediately be available for Birth Parents to view our letter/portfolio. The count down for the real waiting is on!
The other great news is that J’s incident with his ex when we first met shouldn’t be a problem (I was seriously worried about this because you just never know who’s going to hold stupid mistakes against you.). Our fingerprint reports had already come back and we had printed off what the is public record to talk to her about it so she knew we weren’t trying to hide anything or cover it up. It was an isolated incident and J totally owned up to his responsibility for his part in it and our social worker was very understanding. She said that she obviously has to mention it in the home study but that we will get a copy to review before she finalizes it and we can let her know whether or not we’re comfortable with how she worded it. Other than that, she just seemed impressed with how thorough we were with our paperwork and that we had everything there.
In other news, we got one huge project done this weekend. We got the roommate’s room painted and put back together. I wish that we didn’t need her rent money because I would like to move daycare down to the basement, but it’s hard to do because I don’t have a room for the infants to sleep in down there and I don’t want them upstairs while we’re playing downstairs, even with a monitor. And we are most definitely NOT moving her bedroom upstairs. She likes to eavesdrop to much as is. I also got the playroom downstairs all cleaned out and the 2 toys shelves I have got re-painted. There is still so much we haven’t gotten done and we are about out of money. Especially, with the car repairs and doing all the different house projects. The credit cards got racked up this month and J insists on paying them in full every month. That’s all fine and good when we’re both working but when I’m down to 1 kid for the summer, it takes all our savings we have. I need to re-new my Craigslist ad and hope to God I start getting some calls soon! If I could just get a couple of more full timers for Fall, I’d be in good shape.
Hope you all are having a great week!
Lots of Love~Dawn
Closing on week 2 of vacation and it’s going by way too quickly. This week brought many projects (most of which were not on our list), our first nursery purchase, setting an appt. with the adoption agency next week, a really good talk with my SIL (which is rare), getting the convertible back (finally), and we’re finishing up with a Birthday party for my MIL this evening.
First things first, projects: The bedroom that our roommate uses in the basement has been getting water for awhile now. We’ve tried drying things up and it just wasn’t working. On top of that, she had locked the cats in her room on accident several times in the past so they had peed in there and her room just stunk. We pulled the wainscoting off and there was mold behind it so we yanked out the carpet and cut out the dry wall along the bottom of the wall that was getting wet. Put some fans on it to dry it up and a de-humidifier in there to soak up the moisture. It was dry by the next day so the next thing was figuring out why we’re getting water. J went out and pulled the tops of the gutters off and concluded that was the problem. He got everything sorted out and we added dirt and mulch graded out in that corner. We got a ton of rain one night after everything was pulled out and the gutters were taken care of and no water so I think we got the problem solved.
Side note: I can’t remember if I put this in my last post, but the cats have gone to live with my Mom (Bless her heart). She already had 4 and now she took my 3. I’m happy to report that after a week, they are slowly getting acclimated and she thinks they’ll do just fine there and we’ll have completely different cats then we did when we took them there.
We also had to Bandit proof the yard this week. We should have named him Houdini because the damn dog can get through anything. We laid cement blocks and landscape timbers along the bottom of the fence (it’s black galvanized chain link) because he was pushing on the bottom until he could wiggle through. We cable tied the landscape timbers to the fence so he couldn’t just push behind them to get out. I think for now anyways, it’s working.
J also started getting the garage cleaned out and in order. He’s been slowly insulating it and hanging plyboard and shelves up for organizing all his stuff. There is still sooooo much to get done and I only have a week left of vacation. We need to get the basement cleaned out, stain the deck, power wash the house, finish painting the shutters, front door and garage doors. I also wanted to paint the living room and kitchen but I don’t know if I’ll get that done. We also have a new toilet and sink to install in the master bath. And we need to add having a day or 2 of fun in there since it is my vacation, lol.
Sunday night, we went and dropped off the carpet and drywall at my Mom’s house for big pickup day (our town doesn’t have them) and dropped of the loveseat and a mower to our renters. We brought the boat and went to the WI river for a little boating. On our way back home, we stopped at Walmart to pick up a few things and as we walked by the baby department, we saw this:
Our very first big nursery purchase. It’s super comfy and we got the chair and ottoman for $130. Normally, when I’ve seen them, the ottoman costs extra but this was one price for both and I think we got a great deal. We’ve also got J’s Grandma’s hutch down in our basement. It needs to be re-finished and then we are going to put that in the nursery as a dresser/changing table piece. I also made an appointment with our adoption agency to meet Tuesday morning to turn in all our paperwork. I can’t wait for that step to be finished.
Right now, we’ve been on good terms with J’s Sister and we ended up having a really great talk yesterday about Food addictions, whole 30 and workouts. I think we talked for a good hour on the phone which rarely happens. We also finally got the convertible back. That has been such a huge fiasco. The first place we took it to had it for over a month and both times we picked it up from there, it immediately broke down again, like J didn’t even get all the way across the highway from the place and it broke down. We got a refund from the place and had it towed elsewhere. They had it for a week and lo and behold, it was the head gasket just like we’d been saying. They got it fixed up in a week so now it’s back and we can hopefully get it sold! We are also having a 55th Birthday party for J’s Mom tonight. It’s been chaos and arguing as any event seems to be with them, but hopefully, it’ll work out and everyone will have fun tonight.
I hope everyone is doing well and you’re enjoying your summers.
Lots of Love~Dawn