Guilt and Gratitude

Mom guilt…it’s very real even when your child is not on this earth with you.  Sunday, August 23rd was our due date and the day came and went without me even remembering what day it was.  In fact, I had a fantastic day that day and when I realized it yesterday, I cried.  I can’t believe that I didn’t remember what day it was.  I should have done something in remembrance of our baby.

Despite feeling guilt right now, I’m also feeling immense gratitude.  A friend of mine messaged me this morning asking me to call him when I had 30 seconds.  This man is one of the sweetest, kindest men I know and is constantly doing good in our hometown community.  Each Fall, he does a Packer board to raise money for Alzheimer’s because his father had it.  Today, he asked if he could do a Packer board for us instead this year.  Tears of gratitude sprang forth.  He put this status up a little bit ago and the response has been wonderful:

Around this time every year, I run a Packer board to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association, and because of my amazing friends over the last few years we have raised over $8000 for the cause. Don’t know why, but dad and the topic of Alzheimer’s has been on my mind a lot lately. I was thinking about what it is I was going to do this year when I read a post from a friend of mine, Dawn . Dawn and her husband J, have tried everything in their power, including tremendously expensive procedures, to have a family of their own, and it just hasn’t worked for them. Honestly, I know J only from what I read and see on Facebook, but I have known Dawn for years, and I know that, if any 2 people are prepared and deserving to shower the love of a family on a child, it is them.
I am the youngest of 10 kids and I love my parents eternally, and wouldn’t trade being raised by them for anything in this world…all children deserve the opportunity for that kind of love. I know family was important to my dad, and he would support this 100%…and would do whatever he could to help….that is why I am foregoing the Alzheimer’s board this year and directing it toward this cause.
I think J & Dawn deserve the opportunity to show their unending love to a child…and at this point they are faced with a bill of $8500 to continue in the adoption process. I am hoping you will support this years fundraiser, which will benefit not only J & Dawn, but that unknown child that is so deserving of their love.
I am in the process of acquiring prizes for a Packer board that will raise $2500 for this family and will let you know when the $25 squares go on sale. If you know anyone that would like to donate a prize or be part of this, please let me know…MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!!

God truly does answer prayers in the most spectacular ways!

Lots of Love~Dawn

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13 thoughts on “Guilt and Gratitude

    • Thank you, he really is an amazing guy. He’s the kind of person that when I lived in Tomah, if I put on my FB status that I wanted a soda and didn’t have any, he’d show up on my doorstep with a coke.

  1. I’m sorry you struggled with realizing you missed your little one’s expected due date. These dates are hard, and then the guild that comes along with missing them just sucks. I’ve missed my fair share of dates too, and when I realize it, I always feel horrible.
    Also, your friend, well, he sounds truly amazing! Beyond amazing actually. Is it possible to make his fundraiser public on your blog?? You know, for the 2 people in the world like me who don’t have facebook. 🙂

    • Thank you. It really does feel just awful. And I was so conscious of the date coming up that I don’t know how I managed to miss it. The actual fundraiser would difficult for those out of the area because you need to buy squares from him and then you win the donated prized that coordinates with the square on game day, but I can share my gofundme page. I’ve never really had trolls on my blog before so I’m sure that’ll bring out some of the crazies for me to spar with, lol. What I really need to do is go back through my posts and password protect what I need to and possibly go public with my blog. It makes me nervous though.

  2. That’s such an awesome gesture from a friend! It’s truly incredible the people who step up to be the greatest sources of support during times of darkness and need. So happy that you got that little ray of light during a difficult time.

  3. Omygoodness!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ What an amazing friend you have. That is truly such a beautiful thing. I hope he sells all the spots on his packer board. I know sometimes our lives might seem like we get the raw end of the deal (especially with infertility)… But for friends you sure have an amazing one.

  4. Little Spark’s due date came and went in April, and I didn’t realize it until the next day either. I felt terrible guilt over it, but then I realized that that’s not what she would’ve wanted for me. We have honoured our angel babies in different ways, and not necessarily on significant days. And the reality is, that the mourning and honouring experience is mostly for us- to help us cope.

    How wonderful to have friends that acknowledge what a challenging time you’ve had, and also try to help support you in your journey. And what a sweet little write up about how wonderful you two would be as parents!

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