I’ve thought about this a lot and for a long time and I honestly don’t know if I will be. I read so many of your posts and think, will I worry like that because it’s my own, or because I have so much infant experience, will I be fine and go with what I know tends to work. Just some examples that I wonder about:
Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding: If we get pregnant on our own or with IVF at some point, where will I lie? Right now, I think I would do both. I know that I want J to be able to do feedings too. Obviously, with our adoption, even though I’m thinking of trying to breast feed, we would probably mostly have to bottle feed.
CIO Method vs Not letting them CIO: I am a huge proponent of the CIO method, huge. I’ve seen it work time and time again and I have to use it on my daycare kids or I would never get a break and that’s not good for any of us. With adoption, for longer than I imagine if it we our biological child, we’re not going to be able to do it. We are supposed to immediately pick up our baby if they start crying to form that attachment and that honestly goes against what I believe. I think it’s good for baby’s to exercise their lungs a bit. Not for a long time and of course not when they’re extremely tiny, but within reason, it’s okay to not rush over immediately. If you put your child in daycare which mine technically will be since I do daycare, caregivers can’t always immediately give any given child what they want/need at that moment. Sometimes, they’ve got to wait a few minutes and it’s a whole lot easier if you don’t have to get them used to that after several months of it being another way. However, when it’s my own child, will I feel differently? On this one, I truly don’t think I will, but never say never.
Leaving our Baby with a sitter: I had a friend that just refused to do it when her children were little. She didn’t even like to leave them with Dad. I am 99% positive this will not be me. I’ve spent so many years (being almost 40) of being able to do what I want, when I want that I don’t think I’ll have a problem leaving my kiddo with my Mom, Sister or nieces to get out for a bit.
Illness: I’ll worry. That is so me! I will definitely worry when this happens.
Cloth vs. disposable: I can go either way on this one but we’ll more than likely end up doing disposable. You never know though. Honestly, the world of cloth diapers is a bit overwhelming to me.
Co-Sleeping: This may fall under the CIO method, really, but right now, I say absolutely not. Why? Because I watched my Sister do it with all her kids and then not be able to get them out of her bed til they were like 10yrs old. They can be in our bedroom in a bassinet or pack and play, but I will not be doing co-sleeping for night sleeping.
These are just a few things I think of and have for years now. The good thing about it taking so long to have children and having 9 nieces and nephews, I’ve really been able to watch what they do and go, yeah, I want to do that and no, I definitely do not want to do that.
These are just my opinions on what I want to do. I’m not into that Mommy war thing. I know one area that J will fight me on is the CIO thing because he can’t stand to hear babies crying where I can mostly block it out if it’s not an in pain/hungry kind of cry. If it’s just that they’re tired and NEED sleep. I can block it out.