Will I Be A Normal First Time Mom?

I’ve thought about this a lot and for a long time and I honestly don’t know if I will be.  I read so many of your posts and think, will I worry like that because it’s my own, or because I have so much infant experience, will I be fine and go with what I know tends to work.  Just some examples that I wonder about:

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle feeding:  If we get pregnant on our own or with IVF at some point, where will I lie?  Right now, I think I would do both.  I know that I want J to be able to do feedings too.  Obviously, with our adoption, even though I’m thinking of trying to breast feed, we would probably mostly have to bottle feed.

CIO Method vs Not letting them CIO:  I am a huge proponent of the CIO method, huge.  I’ve seen it work time and time again and I have to use it on my daycare kids or I would never get a break and that’s not good for any of us.  With adoption, for longer than I imagine if it we our biological child, we’re not going to be able to do it.  We are supposed to immediately pick up our baby if they start crying to form that attachment and that honestly goes against what I believe.  I think it’s good for baby’s to exercise their lungs a bit.  Not for a long time and of course not when they’re extremely tiny, but within reason, it’s okay to not rush over immediately.  If you put your child in daycare which mine technically will be since I do daycare, caregivers can’t always immediately give any given child what they want/need at that moment.  Sometimes, they’ve got to wait a few minutes and it’s a whole lot easier if you don’t have to get them used to that after several months of it being another way. However, when it’s my own child, will I feel differently?  On this one, I truly don’t think I will, but never say never.

Leaving our Baby with a sitter:  I had a friend that just refused to do it when her children were little.  She didn’t even like to leave them with Dad.  I am 99% positive this will not be me.  I’ve spent so many years (being almost 40) of being able to do what I want, when I want that I don’t think I’ll have a problem leaving my kiddo with my Mom, Sister or nieces to get out for a bit.

Illness:  I’ll worry.  That is so me!  I will definitely worry when this happens.

Cloth vs. disposable:  I can go either way on this one but we’ll more than likely end up doing disposable.  You never know though.  Honestly, the world of cloth diapers is a bit overwhelming to me.

Co-Sleeping:  This may fall under the CIO method, really, but right now, I say absolutely not.  Why?  Because I watched my Sister do it with all her kids and then not be able to get them out of her bed til they were like 10yrs old.  They can be in our bedroom in a bassinet or pack and play, but I will not be doing co-sleeping for night sleeping.

These are just a few things I think of and have for years now.  The good thing about it taking so long to have children and having 9 nieces and nephews, I’ve really been able to watch what they do and go, yeah, I want to do that and no, I definitely do not want to do that.

These are just my opinions on what I want to do.  I’m not into that Mommy war thing. I know one area that J will fight me on is the CIO thing because he can’t stand to hear babies crying where I can mostly block it out if it’s not an in pain/hungry kind of cry.  If it’s just that they’re tired and NEED sleep.  I can block it out.

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21 thoughts on “Will I Be A Normal First Time Mom?

  1. I simply think you will be a lovely Mom! I have surprised myself on a few issues by changing my mind but for the most part I am the kind of Mom I thought I would be. I am with you on most of these except CIO. I finally was able to do it when he was almost a year and it actually worked out great for all of us. Xo

  2. I am also completely against co-sleeping. Mostly because my stepson at 8 years old still sleeps with his mom, and we have to be in his room until he falls asleep at our house. It drives me crazy. I think ultimately its good to have the knowledge of the different strategies and know what you think will work for you, and make adjustments as needed when you are in the moment. No matter what you do your baby will be taken care of, fed, and loved which is the most important part!

    • Exactly! The funny thing is, I’m not really sure how the post evolved to what it was because my actually thought when I started it, was will I be nervous and anxious like so many first time Mom’s are? Or will my experience keep that from happening?

  3. I agree with you on all of it! I don’t like the idea of CIO but one week of it worked for us and I know my daycare provider is thankful that M goes down for naps easily most days.

    • I know it’s a hard thing and I know that there are parents that just can’t do that and it’s totally fine. But as an in home daycare provider, I know she totally appreciates it because it does make our days go smoother especially when we have older children that still need our attention in the mornings and in the afternoons to give me that break to clean up from lunch and eat my own lunch. If I get extra time after that, it’s a bonus and usually involves catching up with blogs.

  4. I think about this stuff a lot too. But the older I get and the more I see my friends with their kids the more I drop all of the things I was very much against. Now I have no idea what I’m going to do. lol.

  5. I have to say, regardless of what you choose to do once you have baby in your arms, I promise you, you will be an amazing mom!! And, I’m excited to see what you write once baby joins you! I’ve come to believe that I have my mental list of everything I will and will not do, and that once baby arrives I’ll probably do the exact opposite! 🙂

    • Ok, I know I responded to your comment this morning and it has disappeared! Basically, what I said was, “Thank you and right back at ya! So really, can’t it just happen already so we can start enjoying it?!” 🙂

  6. I have to agree with the whole “The good thing about it taking so long to have children…” Because of that I was able to know ahead of time on what I certainly did not want to do with my future children. Our son does co-sleep but does not sleep on the bed with us. He has his own attached bed next to my side of the bed which is working great. He can sleep at my arms reach and doesn’t need me to be in bed for him to go to sleep. He knows once he’s there it’s bed time. I’ve never heard about the CIO method would have to read more about it but based off of what I’m getting from it I do plan on doing this with my son. My mom took care of my niece for a month and she said she couldn’t do it anymore since she couldn’t get anything done for work or food wise. Now that she’s taking care of my son he is the exact opposite as long as he has her insight he doesn’t fuss since he knows she will attend to him when he needs her. I think we all manage to see what works for us once we have our child in our arms. Oh and I breastfeed but he is bottle fed with BM when I am away. Doesn’t have a problem taking both. Again whatever works for baby & mommy.

    • That’s an interesting concept with the bed next to you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. I do think I’d like to get one of those Halo Bassinets so they can be right next to me when they’re tiny. It really does make a difference on whether or not someone can care for a child on whether or not they can be content without being held all the time.

  7. I never thought I would cosleep-I was adamantly against it, but things changed when she came. And she doesn’t cosleeps the whole night-usually just half of it. Honestly if I wanted to stay up and down for nurse sessions she would sleep in her PNP all night with no problem. I’m just lazy and like the convenience of having her right at my boob lol.

    I also didn’t think I would have a big problem with CIO until she was here, and now hearing her cry is like a knife in my gut. I just can’t do it, so I’m going the longer route of trying some of the no cry sleep solutions. I’m not adamantly against CIO, but it’s not right for us.

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