Just Breathe

Hello Friends!

How are we already 6 days into the new year?  So far, I’m having a rough time working on my word of the year, Focus.

The one thing I have managed to accomplish up until this morning was starting my day with God and reading His word.  This morning, the snooze button won after a particularly difficult day yesterday.

So what’s been happening here?

L had a particularly hard time going back to school after the break, to the point that she not only made herself throw up (well, it was more spit up than actual throw up) before going to school, but also threw up at school at lunch.  Luckily, her social worker was already on her way to pick her up for a therapy appt that she ended up missing just in case it was the flu.  It wasn’t, just as I knew it wasn’t.  This isn’t the first time she’s either pretended to be sick or made herself sick so that she can be at home with me.  It’s truly a fine line to walk trying to understand her anxiousness, but also letting her know in no uncertain terms that she needs to go to school and she cannot keep staying home just to be with here with me.  1.)  It’s important that she be at school learning and socializing and 2.) it makes my job that much harder during the day when she is here.  I totally get now why many daycare providers stop doing it after their kids are schoolage.  I’ve never wished I could be a true SAHM as much as I do now.  Visits with BM have also been getting scheduled, cancelled, moved around and such lately and it’s really hard on both L and myself since I never know what the schedule is going to be.  They also keep changing how many visits are going to happen a week.  It’s a truly frustrating process and when you add the hostility coming from BM, I also get why people either don’t want to mess with doing foster care or want out of it once they start.  It’s extremely hard!

H is doing pretty well but definitely has a case of senior-itis now that she got a taste of freedom from Christmas break, lol.  She’s making friends though and is staying at a friend’s house on Friday night.

J is back to school and girl’s basketball started last night so he’ll be crazy busy until the end of February.

And me?  I got back to the gym after Christmas, but now that work has started again, I’m finding it hard to get there again.  I should have gone last night, especially after the awful day I had, but I was making dinner and had cramps and just made excuses to not go.  This week back to work has been rough.  I had a new kiddo start and he cries (very loudly, quite a bit).  Monday was really bad, yesterday was better and so far today, it’s in-between the two.  My baby that started before Christmas has also had rough time being back and yesterday slept half an hour at the most at a time and spent pretty much the rest of the time screaming.  Finally around 2:15 he had a big poop.  It still didn’t make him all that happy til Daddy picked up and then he was all smiles, lol.

My goals for the rest of the week:

  1.  Get to the gym tonight and tomorrow night at least.
  2.  Get my planner filled in.
  3.  Continue to spend time with God.

I hope you all are having a great start to your new year!  I’m a little behind on reading your blogs, but I will get caught up soon!

Lots of Love~Dawn

8 thoughts on “Just Breathe

  1. My stepson has worked himself enough to make himself throw up to get his way a few times and it makes me so mad. Unfortunately the only thing that we can do is try to help him calm down. Its such a manipulation tactic. I totally feel for you because its really difficult to deal with it. Its always nice to have a break but it seems like getting back into the routine is difficult. I hope everything settles with the day care kids and the girls in the next few days and you can feel more settled and able to focus on your personal goals as well as everything else going on! XOXO

    • Yes, on the manipulation thing! Drives me nuts. Luckily, she made it the rest of the week and even got invited and went to her first birthday party Friday night. She seemed to have a great time with her friends at Chuck E Cheese.

    • Thank you! It still hasn’t happened, lol. I meant to make it to pilates on Thursday but by the time she left for visit with BM, I didn’t have enough time to go get the presents I needed to pick up and make it to pilates. It’s the goal for this week though!

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