Feeding Tube

Is out!!!!!  If she continues to fido well eating today, she gets to come home tomorrow!  Prayers please!  Also, we found out our court date isn’t until November 8th.  😕. Dad seems to be wishy washy but he can sign at any time, just mom has to go to court but if you could please pray for dad to sign quickly and for all to go smoothly until and at the court date, it would be so appreciated!!!

Sweet Little A Update

Sweet little A is still in NICU but eating more and more on her own each day.  Her 5pm feeding yesterday was terrible, only about 15 cc’s on her own befor pooping out so I tried a little reverse psychology for the 8 pm feeding.  I kept whispering over and over in a sing song voice, “don’t do it, don’t finish that bottle” and lo and behold reverse psychology even works on preemies!  😉

She drank all but 1-2 cc’s and didn’t have to gavage at all!!!  Yesterday they said she was at 61% total intake in her own and this morning she was up to 76%.  If she can sustain that for 24 hours they will take the feeding tube out and J said that they said she could come home early next week which I am actually going to be calling bullshit on because if she stays doing well, they originally said she can go home 48 hours after the feeding tube comes out so I will be fighting for that. 

I also just texted that she drank her whole 11am bottle so YAY!!!!

Ladies, being away from her sucks so bad!  I hate every minute of it and can’t wait until I’m done with work for the week tomorrow afternoon.  Right now, J is planning on working next week to find and get ready for a sub and then he’s taking off til Thanksgiving!  He also resigned from coaching boys basketball this season!!!  I don’t know who this guy is but I plan to enjoy him while he’s home.

I hope you all are well…I’m actually staying updated for once because I read as I hold a sleeping A every evening!

Lots of Love~Dawn


We are unfortunately, still in the NICU.  She is still having some feeding issues. We came in yesterday morning and they had put a feeding tube in because she just tuckers out before she gets her 36 cc’s in. We bottle feed every 3 hrs and what she doesn’t eat gets pushed through the tube but other than that, she is doing great!

Birth Story

Well, at least our part of it, lol.

Thursday afternoon, at 2:34pm, I received a call from our adoption agency.  L asked if I was busy and had a minute to talk and I said “yep, all the kids are napping so this is a good time.” and she said, “Well, I wanted to let you know that a Birth Mom picked you (at which point the freaking out began), and not only that but baby was born yesterday and she’s right here at the area hospital.”  I’m pretty sure I told her to shut up several times as I cried and lucky for me, a daycare parent walked in at that time to pick up her kiddo.  I asked L if I could run and tell J and call her right back.  I pretty much stayed on long enough to find out it was a girl and then I got off and asked my dc parent if she could stay for a few minutes while I ran to the school to tell J.  She could and all the kids were sleeping anyways so it’s not like it was crazy here at the moment.  I literally ran down the street and y’all, I am so out of shape.  By the time ran the half block and crossed the street to the school, I was dying (but I was also sprinting…no slow jog for me with that kind of news).  I caught my breath for a sec, ran up to the doors, got buzzed in and ran into the office at which point the admins were looking at me like, oh shit, this is not good.  I told them I needed to talk to J and that it was good news so one of them came with me down to the gym and motioned him out of class.  He could see me in the hallway before he got out and could see I was crying (but I swear I totally had a smile on my face) and thought it was bad news.  His first thought was oh shit, I can’t take anything else bad happening (they had just lost a dear co-worker the Friday before in a car accident).  I was like no, it’s good news, we were picked, baby is already here and it’s a baby girl and then I said, “I think you were just destined to be the Daddy to girls!”

At that point, I didn’t know when we were going to get to go to the hospital but I was hoping for as soon as I was off so I asked if he could skip football practice and just come home.  He went back into class after lots of hugging, kisses and tears and as I walked away from the gym, the whole class went up in cheers so I knew he shared the news with them.  It was so sweet!

I got back home and called L back and started getting some details.  At that point, BM was wanting to wait until Friday to have us come to the hospital and meet so we ended up not going until yesterday morning.  We got to the hospital about 10:35 and L met us in the lobby of the NICU floor at 10:45.  We spoke for a little bit about how BM and Baby were doing and we showed her the presents we got her to make sure she thought the one I had picked up that morning was a good idea before we gave it to her.  It was a stuffed elephant that had a place for a picture on the tummy and then you can record a message on it to hear when you press it’s foot.  We want to put a pic of her and A in it and then have her record a message for her to always here.  We also got her a sapphire necklace because that’s Sept. birthstone and it was placed in what looks like to anyone who’s been in band, a treble clef, almost and I just thought how that kind of represented how our families will always be intwined.  L thought they were both great so we then headed back to meet them.

We scrubbed in for 3 minutes before entering the floor and anytime you leave the floor, you have to re-scrub back in so I avoided that, lol.  When we got to the room, BM and her niece (they’re only a few years apart and niece is a huge support in BM’s life) were there and the Niece was holding A.  We introduced ourselves and immediately gave them hugs, big hugs for BM, and started chatting.  We got to hold baby a lot as we spoke and J got to change his daughter’s poopy diaper for the first time (he did good!).  L and the niece stayed until about noon or a little after.  Before they left, we shared the name we wanted to give her and BM loved it (Thank you Lord) and we also gave her the presents which she also loved.  We talked about all the coincidences from baby’s NICU nurse from the day before being a friend of mine (she stayed very professional while Mom was picking a family, but once they told her who she picked, she started crying and told BM that she knows me and what a long journey we’ve had), to the name being special to her, to her having a picture of her own similar to one of my baby pictures with brownie batter all over my face in our port.  She said that she felt a connection to us before she ever opened our folder and she just couldn’t stop staring at the pic of us and thinking how well A would fit into our family.  There were tears, although not as many on my part as I was expecting…I think I’m still in shock!  After L and A left, we stayed til just after 2pm holding baby and getting to know BM a bit more.  She is a total sweetheart and we really feel for her and the circumstances that led her to her decision.  We let her know that she can call/text anytime and we’re happy to do visits when she would like them.  We think it’s super important for A to have as much of a connection as she can and know how much love came into this decision her BM made.

We left after that to give BM some alone time with A and the plan that she would call/text when she was ready for us to come back.  We got home and J went to fb practice and I got in a short doze because I hadn’t slept well the night before at all!!!  She called and woke me about ten to 5pm to let me know she was being discharged and leaving so to come back anytime.  I waited for J to get home totally spacing he needed to go to the visitation for his co-worker.  He reminded me when he got home so he got ready and went to that and I headed straight for the hospital for some cuddling time with our daughter (God, it feels amazing to say that and I so hope and pray that I get to call her that for the rest of my life).

We were hoping that A would also get discharged yesterday but her feeding just weren’t quite where they want her to be.  They’d like to see 30cc’s about every 3 hours and she had only done about 20 the 2 feedings before.  The first one being sporadic because of all of us coming and going and the 2nd taking about 25 minutes.  I fed her about 8pm after they took the IV out of her head (holy heartbreaking…that tape was so stuck down and I felt so bad…and completely forgot that I had lemon oil probably sitting in my purse that would have really helped the sticky tape process…Mom fail already!).  The nurse put a little bit faster nipple on and she took about 20 cc’s again but much quicker (15 min) and she did a great job of sucking and then breathing through it with really no milk coming out of the corners so I’m really hoping she will get discharged this morning.  We decided to come home and get a good night’s sleep (which apparently for me was only 6 hours because I woke up unable to fall back to sleep at 5:30am today) and let the dogs out and then if she has to stay again tonight, which I really hope she doesn’t, we or me can stay with her tonight.  We left about 9:30pm to head back home and when we got here, my SIL was waiting for us with a new pack and play, a balloon, flowers and all sorts of outfits, diapers and wipes for little Miss.  She also did our dishes while she was waiting for us to get there…can you say Amazing?!

So that brings us to now.  My alarm is going to go off in about 15 min. and it’ll wake J up and then we’ll get ready and head back to the hospital.  BM said she was planning to come back again this morning to see her so hopefully she does because she didn’t get a chance to record her message on the elephant yesterday.  We are just hoping and praying we get to bring our little girl home today!

As I said yesterday, just to be on the safe side, we are waiting for TPR to really make an announcement on any kind of social media.  I’ve just been individually texting family and friends to let them know and even some of my best friends don’t know yet because I’m kind of waiting for that moment that we get to walk out of the hospital with her.  Family, you guys and our small group is about it so far.  Oh and all of WS middle school by now, lol.  🙂  I will continue to keep you updated and let you know when we finally get to bring her home.  Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes…they mean the world to us.  I always tell J that I have the best friends that I have never met and he always agrees!  He is just amazed by all the love and support you send our way and he thinks y’all are amazing also.

Lots of Love~Dawn


Introducing…Annabelle Nicole Faith!!!  Born 9/21/16 at 1:07pm.  5.5 lbs and 18.9 inches long.  She is in NICU but doing well.  Just waiting on her to up her feelings a bit and she will hopefully be discharged tomorrow.  As you may know from past adoption posts, they do have until the court date in 30 or so days to change their minds so if you could pray/send positive vibes that they don’t and all goes smoothly…we sure would appreciate it!!!

P.S.  I should add that if we’re friends in FB or Instagram, please don’t say anything about it on there.  We are waiting for TPR date to announce on FB.

For Every Woman

A beautifully written post.

Fertile at Heart

I reached out to a sweet friend from college, Mindy, and asked her to guest post on my blog. What I got back was something written so beautifully that it really doesn’t need much introduction except that I believe that every woman out there, whether or not you struggle with infertility or not, should read it. Be encouraged. So, without further ado…

In Mindy’s words…

They say 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That’s 2 in 10 women.

Friends, that’s a lot.

As a little girl I dreamed of one day being 3 things. A Jesus follower, a wife and a mother.

I’ve served Jesus since I was 5. I was married at 20. My first baby came when I was 24. My second baby came when I was 27. I’m currently carrying my third due in 4.5 months…I’ll be 29.

Jesus. A husband and 3 babies.

Although challenging days…

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Rain, Rain, Go Away

I don’t know what the weather is like by the rest of you, but here in Central WI, it NEVER stops raining!!!  At least that’s how it feels, lol.  So much rain, so many bugs, and so much fast growing grass.  This means that J is still having to move like 10 lawns on top of teaching, coaching and now bow hunting and I don’t even like stepping outside because the gnats and mosquitos are so freaking horrible.  Luckily, we haven’t had any water in the basement but our neighbors have and one of my daycare parents came in this morning and said it’s just pouring in one of her egress windows.  Kind of makes me happy that we didn’t up having the time or money to get one put in this summer.  If God hadn’t promised not to kill us all off with a flood again, I would probably be wondering if J needs to quick build us an ark!

Alright, I’m gonna be real with y’all.  I’ve been struggling, big time with my health and body issues.  J and I did the Tunnels to Towers 5k on Sept. 11th.  I knew it was going to be a walk/jog for me before the day even got here, but walking to the park for the starting line, I knew it was going to be worse than that.  My back hurt and my legs were already seizing up.  We started the race and J took off like he normally does.  I walked and then jogged a couple times , we’d probably only gone 4-5 blocks when we got to the corner of the street our house is on.  I seriously thought about just walking home.  The only thing that stopped me was those 343 firefighters going up those towers when their guts were probably screaming at them to get out.  At this point, I could no longer jog and my legs and back were in so much pain.  I slowed way down and was getting passed by just about everyone.  Toddlers and old men wearing boat shoes.  😦  By the time J finished the race and came back to find me, I was sobbing.  I’m not one to get depressed, but in those moments, I was so disappointed in my body and the diseases that are attacking it.  When J and I met, I was probably in the best shape I’ve been in since HS and now I struggle with walking 3.1 miles…it’s ridiculous, frustrating, and so annoying!!!

The fibro and endo pain are just getting worse and worse but I don’t want to give into the hysterectomy yet.  I still have hopes that we will get that miracle pregnancy at some point and I’m so scared that what I think is endo pain will end up not being that and I’ll take away my ability to by some small miracle have a baby but still have the horrible pain.

Now, some of this is my fault.  I know that gluten free diets and just a better diet in general should help both the fibro and endo pain but can I manage to get myself to do that.  Nope…junk and processed food has a huge control over me.  It’s also proven that 30 minutes of cardio activity a day will help with the fibro pain, but do I make sure I get out and at least stroll for 30 minutes?!  Nope, I don’t.  Especially with how horrible the bugs are right now.  😦  So, I know part of this feeling like crap is entirely my own fault which means, I really have no right to vent about it, but venting I am.  Sorry about that.

On the E front…things are going well.  She reaches out to me frequently and FM leaves the room once in awhile to give us a few minutes alone.  E even gives me big open mouth kisses once in awhile, lol.  I visit her about 3 times a week right now.  On Monday, I met them at Dr. for her 9 mo appt.  Also there was BM, BD and the parent aid who was L’s parent aid and someone I adore!!!  However, it was pretty awkward because BM and BD had no idea who I was because the SW still hasn’t talked to BM about terminating.  When FM introduced me to the Dr., she said the J and I are listed as the concurrent goal.  When he asked what that meant, she told him in the case of termination, we would adopt E.  Whatever the BP’s were feeling, they held it in pretty well but I definitely felt awkward.  FM was upset that BM was even allowed at the appt because she’s skipped her visits for the last 3-4 weeks and so she hasn’t seen E in about a month.  She told the SW that no one was going to hold E but her and that everyone needed to leave the room for shots.  She ended up not needing any and just had to go to the lab to get blood taken so at that point, PA took BP’s home and I waited in the lobby and we grabbed lunch in the hospital restaurant.  I’m happy we decided to do that because the Dr. ended up coming down and stopped to chat with us.  He doesn’t think BM should be able to get E back so I asked if he’d testify to that  and FM asked if he’d tell human services that.  I don’t know if he will but FM did end up getting to have a face to face conversation with the SW later on in the day and she told her what the Dr. said.  This morning, she texted me and said that BM is meeting with SW tomorrow.

In good news, E is growing as should be.  She was a little over 18 lbs and 29 in long.  I’ve been picking up clothes at rummage sales and Once Upon A child and her front carrier came in yesterday from Amazon.  I ended up getting the “Lillebaby, All Season”.  I really, really hope this all turns out like we were told it should and that she is with us by Thanksgiving as planned but as always, with foster care, you just never know!

Alright, I think that’s all the important stuff.  I hope you are all well!

Lots of Love~Dawn