We Finally Got Hit…

With all the sickness!!!  We are normally a very healthy family when it comes to colds and flu type things.  This year, though, February has not been good for us.  It started with J getting a stomach bug and being home sick for 2 days.  Then T got an awful cough/cold.  That may or may not have something to do with the fact that it’s winter in WI and I have to fight most days to get the kid to wear a frickin’ winter coat.  Also, he was clearly never taught to cover his mouth/nose when he coughs/sneezes so lucky me picked up his cough.

It started out as losing my voice, then to a sore throat for an evening and moving into a cough.  The next day, I barely made it through daycare as aches and chills set in.  By Wednesday morning, that part was all over but the cough had settled into stay.  Unfortunately, as primary caretaker of Annabelle, she ultimately got it also despite my best efforts.  She is now very sick with a cough/cold combo.  So far we are managing to get just enough fluids into her to keep her hydrated but she was so miserable yesterday and I spent most of the morning crying with her because I felt so helpless.

We have been doing oils topically and in the diffuser non stop and she at least hasn’t gotten any worse.  We did do 2 doses of tylenol yesterday for any ashiness that she might be having.  Mostly, we’re just watching her breathing to make sure it doesn’t get worse and for dehydration.  Hopefully, we can keep both from getting worse and having to take a trip to the Dr./Hospital.  Last night she was happily kicking and chatting in our bed for at least 30-45 minutes before bedtime which is our usual routine with her so it was nice to see her happy and energetic for a little while.

I’m also over a week late on her 5 month update but I will get that done next.  In foster news, I took the kids to the Dr. on Friday morning.  We had 8am appts and ended up with a snow day also so I got to leave A at home with J.  Thank God for the snow day because the appt ended up being 5 hours long (yes, 5 hours, not a typo)!  So here’s the 411 on Dr. B.  First off, she’s flipping AMAZING!!!  She’s the leading trauma specialist in WI and she was getting all these abuse cases through foster care and finding that foster families didn’t know diddly squat about these kids medical histories and even many times, all the reasons they landed in the system to begin with.  So, she started this foster care clinic and what she and her staff do is collect as many medical records on the families as they can and piece together the kids histories for the foster parents.  If it hadn’t been for M faking something last Monday to be able to come home, we would have had no idea until Dr. B mentioned it that M had heart surgery when she was 7.  We also had no idea until Dr. B told me that M has to be on antibiotics prior to any Dental work including cleanings to prevent an infection in her heart.  During these 5 hours, the kids each got their flu vaccine and M got others that she was behind on, they each got a physical examination, and we all took surveys on the kids behaviors/thought processes and the results were enlightening to say the least.  A lot of the time was spent with her and I, along with the psychiatrist talking about the kid’s medical and abuse/neglect histories.  I can’t go into details but let’s just say that there are things in T’s past that she’s never even seen before.  She doesn’t believe that he has ADHD.  She believes his brain rewired itself at a very young age to always be on the lookout for what was coming next.  She said that we have to throw out all the typical parenting/discipline strategies and that when he tells us he can’t change, at this point, he is right.  He’s never been given the tools or coping strategies to learn how to choose his behavior.  She said when he’s acting out, that he’s not consciously making the choice to do it and that he really can’t control it or help himself.  The consensus between everyone that is on Team T is that he needs to be in day treatment for intensive therapy ASAP.  Both kids were diagnosed with PTSD.  Also, if Dr. B gets her way, the kids won’t be going to BM anytime soon, if ever.

All in all, it was a lot of information to digest and then try to come home and repeat to J.  I will say, that it does help when dealing with T’s behavior to know that he’s not purposely choosing to do it.  It’s nice to be off the hook on disciplining him.  It doesn’t mean that we condone his behavior, but we’re also not having to try and figure out new ways to discipline because at this time, no matter what, it won’t be effective.  We are continuing our positive reinforcement system because it has definitely helped.

The next step is to get a conference set up with all the school personnel that deal with T to bring them up to date.  I’m hoping he won’t be in school much longer due to getting into the day treatment program, but who knows how long that will take.

So, that’s where the R family is at.  I will try to get A’s 5 month update posted soon!  Hope you are all well!

Lots of Love~Dawn

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4 thoughts on “We Finally Got Hit…

  1. Wow what an update! Sorry you all got the sickies 😢 that makes life really tough on everyone. Dr B sounds amazing and what an amazing idea to have a foster clinic. I can’t believe stuff like heart surgery just doesn’t get passed on to you. Insane.
    You are amazing Dawn! You do amazing things- stay amazing! X

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