The Importance of Timing

Ladies…I am so frustrated right now!  As we all know, timing is everything with infertility.  Well, I triggered on Monday and had my IUI on Wednesday and guess what?  Yep, I am almost positive that I just finally started ovulating about 2am this morning.  Which, if you look at a normal cycle for me before the follistim…I was guessing our IUI would have been yesterday or today.  I can tell you it would have been a hell of a lot more convenient if it had been today and apparently, my body doesn’t care if it gets a trigger shot, it’s going to ovulate when it wants to.  It is now 7:30am central time and I am feeling it in my right side quite a bit and after a night of not nearly enough sleep, I am up and have already put a call into the nurses line to see if there is someway to check and see if I’m correct.  

These things are way too much money (especially on straight injectables) to have the timing off.  Feeling ready to cry (although that could be a combination of lack of sleep and frustration with J and his newly single pal for keeping me up with the loud music coming up from the basement).

Update:  The nurse finally called back a bit ago.  She said that it is very unlikely that I did not ovulate within the 36-40 hours after the shot and that maybe I’m feeling a smaller one that ovulated on its own.  She also said that sperm lived up to 72 hours so there should still be some left but I thought that was only with unwashed sperm.  I thought I’ve read that washed sperm do not last nearly as long but maybe I’m wrong.  Anyone else know?  I guess I just need to have faith right now and not doubt His plan.

Google=My Enemy

I’m not entirely sure why, but I can’t seem to stay off Google this time around.  I had no problem last cycle.  I think it’s because we’re going to have to make a decision if this one doesn’t work.  Last month, I knew we’d just head right into another IUI cycle.  Now, we have big decisions ahead of us.  More IUI’s, IVF, or adoption?

I was firmly set on domestic infant adoption.  The agency we met with only adds a certain number of families each year depending on their numbers from the year before.  On one hand, I really like this because I like that they keep things to a certain number so you have more of a chance of being picked and hopefully not have to wait years and years.  On the other hand, they only get to add 7 this year.  They added 4 in January and they will add 3 more in June.  If there’s more than 3 families ready to proceed, they put the names in a lottery and pick.

I thought DH and I were on the same page but it turns out, he’s not ready to give up on IVF.  I, on the other hand, am scared to death.  I barely managed to get 2 mature follicles this last time with 4 days of follistim.  What if we spend all that money on meds and I hardly produce any eggs?  How much will it hurt?  The follistim didn’t hurt at all, but I don’t know what meds we’ll be on or where they will need to be injected.  And, have any studies been done on how all those hormones effect women years down the road?  Are my chances of cancer going to be increased because of all the drugs I’m injecting myself with?  I should really try and research and see if there’s any answers to that one.  I’m not great at researching and finding what I want, but I should at least try I suppose.

Now that we finally have moved onto injectables, does it make sense to try a couple more IUI’s?  There’s a cyst like sac on my right ovary that’s been there the past couple months so if this cycle doesn’t end with a bfp, they want to do an ultrasound to see what’s going on.  Possibly do laproscopy to see if I do indeed have endometriosis since I’ve always had painful periods.  If I have it, and they get it taken care of, then would it make sense to try a couple more IUI’s?

So many questions and fears right now.  DH says the decision is ultimately up to me, but I don’t want to make that decision by myself.  I don’t want him to later resent me if I choose adoption and we can’t afford to do IVF at a later date.  On top of that, I’m 37…they make 37 sound ancient in the IF world.  I am lucky that I have the most supportive DH and Family that anyone could ask for and I have several friends that I’ve been able to confide in.  Most of them have kids so they don’t know what it’s like, but they listen and are supportive.  Ultimately, I just need to find a way to stay relaxed these next 2 weeks.  Easier said then done.  Especially when it won’t stop raining here in WI.

3rd time’s the Charm….Right?

I hope and pray that it will be true in this case.  I had my mid cycle ultrasound this past Thursday and unfortunately, didn’t get a lot of answers while there so needless to say, I came home in tears.  I’d love to blame it on the hormones but in reality, I’m one of those people that just cries…a lot.  No matter what I’m feeling, it tends to come out in tears and I cannot stop them.  Anyways, back to the US…only one mature follie again…I had one more at 15 (and I’m really hoping it matured by the time of the IUI) both on my left side.  Right side did nothing again but the same cyst like sac from last month was still there.  After adding injectables this month, I was pretty disappointed with not having more.  On top of that, my lining was only 5.6 and they want it to be at 7.   The PA also mentioned something about a small solid mass and she wasn’t sure if we’d be able to go through with this cycle.  She needed to talk to the Dr. and would call me with the plan.  Thank God she called within a half hour of being home.  We were good to go, they added estrogen pills which I had to take Thursday morning and night to help with the lining and then finished off the follistim that was left (turned out to be 125iu) to hopefully mature that 2nd follie.  Instructed to trigger at 6am Friday morning, earlier if we could, and then IUI Saturday morning.  Since our black lab, Rocky, decided to wake us a 3am to go out, we just went ahead and did the trigger then.  Unfortunately, I instructed my DH to put it in a little to far to the right on my thigh and man, did it hurt!!  I’ve never felt the shot before so we definitely did the wrong spot for a pain free shot, lol.  My leg always hurts the day after the shot but by the end of the afternoon on Friday, getting up and down and walking were pretty painful (not good when my job is taking care of babies).  Saturday morning we did the IUI…I wish they would’ve done another US so I could see if that 2nd one matured and to see where my lining was at, but they didn’t.  DH had another Rockstar sample….83 million post wash and 76% motility.  He is certainly doing his part so I really hope that my body will finally do its part.

On top of adding the injectables this cycle, I also decided to add pineapple core.  If you haven’t heard of this, you take a fresh pineapple, core it, cut the core into 5 pieces and eat one each day starting the day of your IUI.  It’s supposed to help with implantation.  I don’t know if it will work, but it certainly can’t hurt.  And, the taste isn’t terrible.  The worst part for me is that it gets stuck in my teeth.  I also cut out coffee this cycle but did not give up all caffeine the first half…I tried but had a heck of a time.  I do plan on not having any this second half though.  

The rest of the day was spent cleaning and watching DH tear our back yard up.  The people that previously lived here put a rock garden right in the middle of the yard.  We finally rented a bobcat yesterday and removed it but in the process, it tore our yard all up.  And it’s supposed to rain for the next week at least so that will be a lovely muddy mess by the time the rain stops.  Good thing my daycare kiddos are old enough to play out in the yard yet!  

I just want to end this post with a prayer.

Heavenly Father,

First off, I would just like to Thank you for all the Blessings you’ve given me.  A wonderful Husband, supportive family and friends, adorable pets, food and a house to live in and jobs that we enjoy.  You’ve given us so much but there’s just one more thing that we ask for and that is for the Bless of a Baby.  We have so much love to give and so much family history, joy, and Love for You that we want to pass on to our child.  I know that you have a plan, and that it is only for good.  I don’t necessarily understand it or the timing, but I have faith that one day we will get our take home baby.  I just pray that this is it.  I pray that we will find comfort, peace and strength during these next 2 weeks as we wait to find out.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.