10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes for the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
As I just read these words a few minutes ago, they really spoke to me. For J and I, we are in one of the biggest battles of our life. J actually has 2 huge battles going on in his life at this moment and you can bet I will be sharing these verses with him today. I like write them on post its and put them on our bathroom mirror to help him to stay encouraged. Infertility feels like war…each cycle is a new battle. We may get knocked down over and over but it will not kill us…Ultimately, we will not lose this war.
I feel like the only way we can truly lose this war is if we let it destroy our marriage and our lives. I believe God can heal me. I believe that God’s will may be that we become parents through adoption. Adoption is not for everyone but J and I have been talking about adopting since we met and we both have the hearts for it. I believe that no matter how our children come to us, God meant for those children to be ours.
In the meantime, we have many children who’s lives we are apart of. We have 11 nieces and nephews between us. We have cousins and best friends that consider us to be Auntie and Uncle to their children. J has his students and I have numerous daycare kids who’s lives I get to be a part of. I have my kids (okay, 2 of them are adults now, but they’ll always be my kids) that I nannied for 10 years and played a huge part in raising them and helping to teach them values. No matter what happens, no matter where God’s plan takes us, we will be okay as long as we stay strong in our marriage and have each other.